Here to help or listen

Just wanted to introduce myself to the group as I have experienced grief personally on so many levels and hope that my own personal experiences will enable me to help others get through the toughest and darkest of times.

I have lost parents, nephews and nieces and a child when I was married first time around, and a brother to covid last year, but nothing could ever come close to the pain and heartbreak of losing my fiance to her brave battle with cancer a couple of years ago.

She was my life, my hopes and dreams, and to watch her weaken daily and yet still manage to find a smile even through the toughest and most painful of times (even just before she closed her eyes for the last time in my arms) truly broke me and still does every day…

I have found myself in a position previously like many other whereby I was by her graveside with a knife with every intention of leaving this life to be reunited with her… but what stopped me was knowing that she struggled with every last breath to keep her life going, so for me to just chuck mine away no matter how low I was feeling, would be the biggest insult to her memory and battle… so I picked myself up and vowed to never let myself or others get to that position ever again if I could…

So I am not here to look for sympathy as I know my own personal pain will never leave… if anything, it actually hurts more now than ever… but I just wanted you to know… that no matter how hard and dark some days may seem… you must keep going… and you will…

If I can help anyone in any way… the I am always here to listen or to talk.

Kindest thoughts and wishes,



Hi Alan, what can I say but thank you for sharing your story. Grief is very hard to deal with and we all go through some trouble times of anguish. Sometimes talking to people at the Samaritans can be the live line or just having a full blown crying session but you are right we must not throw away a life that is still worth living. You take care and stay safe. S xx

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Thank you Alan x


Thank you Alan, today I feel like that but I can’t cause that pain to my son it’s like have to carry on although it’s seems just pain all the time

Thankyou Allen grieve destroys you and it’s hard to cope it’s 14month for my husband and it’s hard lv annie

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Thank you Alan for sharing. My wife last year invested in me, like teaching me how to cook, clean etc. I feel l owe it to her to look after myself somehow, so her last months were not a waste. It is what keeps me going during this difficult time. She died on 3/1/22, so I guess it’s early days.

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Very very early days for you. So sorry for your loss. My husband did the same with me, showing me how to do certain things he used to do around the house as he knew he was dying.
Our spouses were very thoughtful weren’t they.
I hope you have some support around you

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