I had not a bad Christmas, just a few tears but I was better than I thought I would ever be. No Christmas tree but two nice light-up Reindeer in the kitchen window. But since the new year, I cannot stop crying and feeling completely lost again. We always made plans for the coming year. Planning our holidays, cinema visits, visits to the Royal Albert Hall etc. It was always a special time for us and it hit me badly that we will never have any holidays together, no cinema visits, not go to concerts anymore, not cook together, not hold hands ever again… Also one of Philmore’s uncles died suddenly and our neighbours’ daughter died as well (we have known that family for over 20 years). I still have problems with going to sleep (nothing helps) and I cannot stop worrying about the future. 10 months and 6 days that I am on my own and I am missing my Philmore more and more. Sending hugs and love to all.
I’m sorry to hear everything you are going through. My husband unexpectedly passed away 7 weeks ago. I’m also on my own and miss making our plans together. I can relate missing your husband. Sending strength and love your way
@Annaessex nice to see you back here. It’s been nine months for me and I’m struggling with a new year too. Knowing they aren’t going into the new year with us and making all the plans is so hard. The dark days/nights and the wet horrible weather isn’t helping. My plan this year is to be more resilient and do things more on my own. I have to say there is little joy in that but I’m going to try. Take care. X
I’m so very sorry for your loss. It is only three weeks since I lost Alan in a blink of an eye with no warning. This week I have had to set about cancelling the trips we had planned which included our wedding ( which was on a cruise ship). I had help from an amazing travel agent but it was sooo hard. And some companies have actually charged me to cancel. Heartless doesn’t cover that. But; I love to travel, love to see live theatre and I know there will come a time to be a warrior and do this alone. I’m terrified. My lovely, sensible son however has stepped in and suggested he accompany me to begin with when I am ready. We will only do things that I never did or intended to do with Alan and I do feel a very tiny ray of excitement for that. Maybe you have a family member or a close, understanding friend who could help you too? I know many would struggle with this but it’s just an idea. I will miss Alan forever and with all my heart but my life is in front of me and I have to go forward as best I can. There are so many people in this horrible situation and I wish for strength and hope for everyone. X
@Arvia so sorry for your loss and still early days for you. It’s been 9 months for me and it does get a bit easier but always a painful journey. I have friends and family who have accompanied me on holidays, days out theatre etc. While I really appreciate this I feel I can’t rely on others for my happiness. My husband and I travelled a lot, are out, liked the theatre etc. My friends and family have different interest as well as some shared. I feel it’s time to tackle these on my own. Glad you have your son to help you but further down the line you may feel the same. Take care.
I too managed Christmas well, my kids came over so it was a good distraction particularly with the grandkids. However, once I got to New Year I seemed to have lost the plot! I can’t stop crying and am dreading Monday which will be my first birthday without Keef since 1979. I have booked holidays and other days out but see them more as a distraction from this life I never wanted to have. On Monday I’m going out or lunch with my 2 sisters so hopefully that will be nice. Now my telly doesn’t work but at least it’s still under warranty so I have an engineer coming out to sort it next Wednesday but I mis having the telly as a distraction from these dark days/nights.