Hi I'm julie

I gave cpr to my boyfriend of 2 years on the 20th July,by the Wednesday his brain wasn’t functional and his family had the tough decision of turning machines off.he had a heart attack so it was pretty quick for them to say bye as his heart was damaged.im not sure if I could have done anything else to keep him alive.but I tried.and within 1hr 30 mins he was at kings college hospital…only 54.not old at all.miss him terribly,he stayed at mine,he told me he loved me all the time.back to work this week I need to be earning and to keep busy.

Hi Julie, Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your boyfriend. It sounds as though this was a huge shock and you did everything you could to try to save him.

It is very early days for you, so try to be very kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. I’m glad that you’ve found this site, as it’s really important to have outlets for your emotions. You are among people who understand here. While you wait for more replies to your post, you may also find it helpful to read and reply to some of the other recent conversations in the Losing a Partner section of the site, to see what other people’s experiences have been.

Hi. Julie. ‘He told me he loved me’. Of course he did and still does. Real love can never die. Impossible. It doesn’t end in death, it can’t be stopped or in any way diminished, it stays for eternity. Yes, we do move on, but it’s very early days for you yet. Try and take emotions as they come, but don’t bottle them up. If you feel the need to talk we are all here and we all know how you feel.
No one can feel as you feel at the moment unless they have been there, and we all have, so try and take a little comfort from that. Whatever tiny bit of comfort you can find take it. Blessings.

Dear Julie
My husband collapsed with a sudden cardiac arrest last summer at home with me . He was 60 . We gave him CPR and he was resuscitated through the air ambulance doctors and given stents in hospital but kept having arrests for the next 3 days in the ITU of the hospital . We had just had the preliminary results of a brain scan which showed he had suffered brain damage from the initial arrest when he went into cardiac arrest again and we had to take the decision not to keep trying to resuscitate him .
My husband and your boyfriend would not have wanted to live with severe brain damage I am sure no matter how much we wanted them to carry on being alive
My heart goes out to you
You have had a terrible shock
Please keep posting on this forum
People will help you on here
Maybe get some bereavement counselling too . I have . It helps
Do whatever gives you comfort
It is hard going but you will survive
Sending you big hugs and understanding
Romy xxx

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