Hi im new to this i lost my mum who icared for 2 months ago

I lost my mum 2 months ago, i cared for her whilst juggling work too , i loved her but at times it was hard doing everything and sometimes i felt resentful that i had no time for me , i feel guilty i felt like this she was a lovely lady and fought so hard to the end , i miss her and feel it hard to believe i wont see her .

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@Ruth11 sorry for the loss of your Mum, losing a parent can be so hard. Feeling guilty is a normal part of grief. We always wish we’d done things differently. I’m sure you did your best in the circumstances so be kind to yourself. Grief can be a tough journey so take care…xx

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Hello ruth11
So sorry for your loss.
I lost my mum nearly 6 weeks ago now and i too was her daughter/carer. Caring for someone puts a big strain on your life and i also felt resentful a lot of the time, i loved her very much though. I realise now that without me mum would of had no one to care for her and you must think this way too, you should be proud that you were there for your mum when she needed you. Guilt is a cruel emotion it tries to bring you down, it puts thoughts in your head making even the smallest thing seem a really big deal. Please dont let these feelings drag you down you will make yourself ill beating yourself up over things that can now never be changed, just be proud of how you cared for your mum, im sure, like my mum, she was grateful for all that you did. After all she loved you very much. Be strong my lovely and take care of yourself. Sending you a big hug❤️

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Im so sorry for your loss. I lost my mum 10 weeks ago - i cared for her full time in the last year and was juggling working as well for the first few months so i understand just how challenging it is, and how it tests your patience, even though i absolutely adored my mum. Guilt will worm its way in any way it can - even when i stopped work and was available for mum 24/7 i STILL feel guilty that i didnt spend more hours a day at her bedside rather than around the house. Im sure your Mum was hugely grateful for everything you did for her - i know my mum dreaded the thought of ending her days in a hospital or care home, so im glad i was able to help her stay at home where she was happiest. Thinking of you :heart:

Thank you so much for your replies, i loved my mum so much , if i hadnt cared for her she couldn’t of stayed at home and she dreaded hospital so much , it was such a terrable death for her as she fell and had to go into hospital she begged me to take her home but she wasnt Mobile, i stayed at hospital as much as I could and was with her at her bedside when she died from choking which caused a brain injury and pneumonia. It was traumatic for her as well as us but not how i envisaged her dying i wanted her to be at peace , we are waiting for the coroner report . I cant believe i wont see her or that she couldn’t be at home

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Im so sorry, it sounds like it must have been hugely traumatic - sadly after reading so many stories of loss on this site there are so many people who pass away in horrible circumstances, which is just heartbreaking. You did all you could for your mum - you enabled her to stay at home for as long as humanly possible which im sure she was hugely grateful for. And you stayed by her side as much as you could in hospital. I hope the coroners report gives you some answers :heart:

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My mum didnt want to go into hospital either and she had a DNR in place. Unfortunately mum had cancer and she heamorrhaged twice over 2 days so had to go into a hospice, she was weak from the loss of blood and in her last 2 weeks she ate nothing and became even weeker. She eventually heamorrhaged again towards the end of her life, she was distressed, moaning and agitated for over 14 hours, it was the worst day of my life and all i could do was stroke her face, hold her hand and watch her die, i felt so helpless.
I miss you mum, im so sorry i couldnt help you, love you always❤️

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Louise12345 it is so hard isnt , you dont ever think your mum wont be there , you did everything you could im sure she felt very loved x

i want to say i’m so sorry for your loss. i lost my mum almost 6 weeks now and I was juggling being her full time carer and doing a p/t job. it was so difficult i end up quitting few weeks before she died. i was always tired even with out work because she needed carers, nurses and the dealing with the house and bills etc. i dont know how i did it the past 3 years simce she had haemorrghic stroke that left her completely immobile since 2020 thats when caring responsibilties had become more challenging for me to see my mum like this. even to her last day, I was back and forth and was very tired, and i left hospital around 2am as she spent the last 12hrs im A+E. then next thing i knw i get a call the following morning she just before midday. i miss her and i desperately want to hug her her but cant, just take it one day at a time

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Im so sorry for your loss it is so so hard , thankbtou for responding. You did so much for your mum , and it’s so hard juggling everything, i look back now and after reading comments on here feel reassured , when you realise other people have and are going through what we are now feeling. Take care and try to be kind to yourself give yourself time to process everything that has happened and your feelings too i think it will be a long process .i too want to hug my mum tell her i love her and chat to her , so i do i go for a walk or just at home i chat to her tell her i love and miss her , i know its not the same but helps me feel she is still here in some way.
Big hugs take care xx

Hi
Reading posts on here i see a lot of us looked after and cared for a parent. I think, for me anyway, it has made it so much harder. Not only have i lost my wonderful mum but ive also lost this amazingly strong person that i cared for. Its been 6 weeks now and ive finally gone back to work, which has been ok, the team i work alongside have been brilliant but for the last couple of days ive been crying at stuff not even really relating to mum but has made me think of her. I read a poem the other day thst had the line in it… il think of you a million times a day…and its true because i do. I speak to my mum too, like you, it comforts me. Im taking one day at a time, not rushing, just gentle steps, at my own pace.
Hugs to all of you, lets keep strong❤️

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Ive had these made out of my mums dressing gowns for the grandchildren. Just picked them up this evening. Mum would of loved this idea, i think 4 lucky children are going to love them and treasure them forever​:heart::sleepy:

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They are beautiful what a touching idea x

Thank you lovely❤️just having things from mum scattered here and there makes it feel a lil bit like ive still got her near❤️

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