Hibernate Christmas Day...

Losing a partner
#1

Here i am 5.30 am and crying my eyes out as i get out of bed and crying over someone s r recommendation of a local Christmas Day dinner for the singles and lonely which i have contacted but wont have transport, i am not holding out any hopes as this charity-organisation attached to a local church have never helped me in the past due to my location…I am crying as i remember me and my Richards Christmas days back home with our three dogs, i cant bare the thought that i maybe with a load of strangers, maybe some i will recognise and sitting down having a Christmas dinner together when i should be relaxing in my own home opening all our presents, enjoying playing with the dogs, opening our presents together, me and Richard, Richard doing the dinner, me dishing up, doing the dogs dinners with our Christmas foods, oh how they looked forwards to this, then i would do the washing up, but firstly in the morning we would open our presents, i would open the dogs presents, always one edible and a toy that each one would enjoy, a small glass of baileys, a mince pie, to say i just want to hibernate on Christmas Day until the day is over is what i want to do not spend what should have been OUR day with strangers…

Jackie…

#2

Hi jackie,

Do you have any neighbours in the nearby park homes that would pop in and spend a bit of time with you over xmas? Is there anyone you are friendly with. It must be so lonely spending all day every day on your own and I feel for you x

#3

Cheryl…
…this is the most unsocial-unfriendly-couldn’t care less parkhome site…it is each to their own, a small but luxury parkhome site…a place i will be happy to get far away from even if its location is absolutely stunning way down in the valleys with all its beautiful trees and greenery and hills surrounding me, so much for beauty and entrapment…

Jackie…

#4

I’m sorry to hear that jackie. Let’s hope it sells quickly and you can get back to where you want to be x

#5

You have to stay positive Jackie, I was dreading last Christmas day because my husband had died very suddenly of a massive heart attack right in front of me on Christmas evening the previous year. I then lost my mum 4 weeks later. I had my stepfather, both my brother’s and my sister in law round, we had our dinner, raised a glass to them and sat around the table playing games and talking rubbish well into the night. I know that neither my husband or my mum would have wanted us all sitting around moping and feeling sorry for ourselves. This year we will do it all again but without the fear that I felt last year. It does get easier, but we have to work at it and make it happen. One thing his sudden death taught me was that life is really too short and that we must value every day. X

2 Likes
#6

Hi kezz

What a lovely positive post. I am dreading xmas having just lost my mum suddenly in June and already having lost my dad of a sudden heart attack many years ago.
My mum would want us to enjoy the festive period and I’m going to really try as you are correct, life is so short and I still have a partner and child who need me.
I am lucky as many, including Jackie have no one and I need to start appreciating what I still have rather than what I have lost x

2 Likes
#7

Kezz…
…it was " sudden death " for me…i came into the lounge only to find my Richard had died of a heart blockage whilst sitting in his armchair, this happened during the hour or two between taking our dog to the pet groomer and with the intention of driving the 30 minutes back to go collect him…they had to phone the pet groomer to bring our-Richards dog home and of course she could see fer herself as all the medics and police were still here…

Jackie…

#8

John died in seconds I tried to resuscitate him but there was no coming back from it. Our dog was in the room and has become quite a nervous little chap since, he was 11 months old at the time. It is a shock for those who are left, I have read some of your other posts and you seem to be still in the angry stage, I know exactly how you feel but I promise it will get better. Grief is different for everyone but we all have to go through the various stages. I have had to deal with getting a job, it is bar work and though it gets me out so I don’t sit at home feeling bitter, it is a double edged sword sometimes. Men can be very tactless at times, and some women can be very cruel. but I take it all in my stride now. We all have our crosses to bear, it’s how we carry them that counts x

1 Like
#9

That is an amazing attitude you have Kezz,
I’m facing my first Christmas without my mum who would normally be tightly integrated into my family’s lives and the festive period.
It’s not going to be easy and I’ve struggled to decide what is best with the offers from family to spend the day with them. I’ve not done this before so I’ve no idea how I’m going to be and I fear being trapped into another household celebrating Christmas without being able to escape and without creating awkward moments.
I can only hope it’ll be fine as I’ve accepted the offer from my wife’s stepmother to spend the day at hers with her family. My father in law died last year so she will have some understanding I feel. I just don’t want to commit to doing anything in particular. Maybe this will be very good for me.
Life certainly is too short!!

1 Like
#10

We have the choice Shaun to allow life to beat us or to face it head on. I’m not pretending that the last 20 months have been easy, but I have now got to the stage where I no longer feel guilty for enjoying myself and try to laugh as much as I can. I still havedays where

1 Like
#11

Sorry, I have days where I feel low but I force myself to go out and it passes. I talk about them both and carry them in my heart, but they have moved on, I have to do the same.

2 Likes
#12

The one bit in your message I struggle with is ‘they have moved on’. I’m hoping one day I can accept that and I am expecting that to happen but right now my emotions refuse to allow me to do that. I know she is gone and I truly want to enjoy life again and to look back and smile with pleasant memories. It’s coming up to 11 weeks for me so I’m not ready yet.

#13

i have started crying again as i have just remembered looking at a flower delivery website i have ordered flowers to place by my dogs ashes boxes and Richards and dogs photos that they have a Christmas red Poinsettia, the wicker basket type, this was the one thing we had always bought and placed on our fire hearth, i just cant get one in this Christmas, too painful as Richard will not be here with me…Again this just breaks my heart as we always had one ( our families tradition ) from year one we settled into our forum home…

Jackie…

Back to top