Hit rock bottom today

Three months after my Mum died and today has hit me so hard. Was seated on the bus this morning and suddenly everything got too much. Sat and wept with everyone studiously averting their eyes from me. Came home and spent the day in bed. Have to say felt a lot better for a couple of hours of sleep.

Thought I was doing quite well but the last few days have been awful, cold weather and nights drawing in I think. What set it off was thinking that if I live as long as Mum did I have another 36 years without her. I can only hope her loss gets easier to cope with.

Hi mel I hope you feel better soon keep your chin up and try to stay strong your mum will be looking over you take care x

Hi Mel it’s so hard to keep it together all the time and be strong, i understand I have these days often. It’s just realisation sometimes that makes it so much harder to get on with it. Like a slap in the face. But Janey is right your mum will be looking over you and wanting you to take extra care of yourself because she’s not around in body to do that, smile for her & keep your chin up.

Hi Janey and Jen

Thank you both. I took the big step for me of going away for a few days this weekend to stay with relatives. Last night was the first time I have slept away from home since Mum passed away and it felt very strange. It was so the right decision as today is the first since I haven’t cried. I didn’t realise quite how much I needed a break but know going home in two days time will be horrible.

I know I must not let myself get so low again and be quicker to accept help when offered. Hope you have both had reasonable days today.

Mel.

I am new on here, thinking of you Mel, heartbreaking. Xx

Lovely time away from home apart from the worst night terror I have ever had last night. Woke up literally screaming for my mother and lay crying for ages after. Thank goodness was with family members who understood and were concerned for me this morning.

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