Thank you very much for your reply. I have just added a photo to my profile and in the process saw many photos of Paul which were happy and sad in just a few months. This technology can have positive and negative aspects. On another social media site , it reminded me of what I was doing 3 years ago on the same day. I was with my husband in New York - so glad I have those memories but we planned to go back. Ironically he was very tired and poorly with a very bad cold - we now presume that he was in the early stages of blood cancer.
In reply to Dave
Thank you Dave for your kind words. Your wife was very young. I take every day as it comes and when I have energy I get lots done. I am not emotionally sound enough to go to work either paid or voluntary at present. However, I am still attending Monday nights at local Rotary club where the members are extremely supportive. However, Monday evening is such a short time in the week!!! I am sure you will know exactly what I mean.
Good afternoon Janey
I hope you receive this E-mail as I have just joined Sue Ryder.
My wife Patricia went to heaven on the 24 April 2016 after 58 years of a
fantastic loving relationship, she was my whole and complete world in all
aspect of this life on earth. We were fully committed to each other in
everything we did together, she was my rock therefore I have nobody
to lean on.
I hope that maybe we can communicate in the future when time is possible.
Best wishes Bryan
Mary how so strange that grief effects people in different way, younsay you have some energy days but are not emotionally strong for work, I’m so opposite that I just can’t be bothered to do anything out of the ordinary apart from eat, wash and sleep when I can but strangely I had no problem at all going back to work.
I do go out to the golf range for a couple of hours on Wednesday with my mate and my youngest daughter and her husband have tea with me on Thursday nights and my eledest and he husband and our grandson I see them on Saturday’s and Sunday mornings but when they have gone around lunchtime on Sunday then it gets tough and Monday and Tuesday ain’t too good either.
You take care and here for a chat if you wish
Dave
Good evening Mary
I read your E-mail on the Sue Ryder site and as other beloved have gone to
heaven I have taken this opportunity to send this message you
I first my met wife in June 1958, I had just returned from two and a half years
in the Armed Force in Iraq and Jordan, When we were out there the lads would talk
about the girl they would like to meet when they returned to Blighty. On my return
I joined a dance school and on my first night I saw this lovely girl I did not ask her dance because I was new to dancing. However I returned on the 19 June 1958, after thinking I asked her to dance at 8.00 pm for the waltz, she accepted and we danced the night away, I took her home from the dance and I new she was the girl
for me, she has been my one and only girl friend since then and is still my girl friend
because I am still IN LOVE with her and I tell every minute of the day.
Well Mary thanks for the opportunity of this chat with you. Hope we can chat again.
Good Night and God Bless.
Bryan
Hi Dave, your so right about how grief affects us all in different ways. I stayed at my daughters on Tuesday night and went out with some friends Ted used to call us the coven in a nice way. Half way through the night I just burst into tears at the words of a song. Wednesday my daughter made me go back to bed as I was totally exhausted I’ve just felt really drained for the past couple of days. I miss working I took redundancy in December last year. Work is a different world where you don’t have time to think about other things if you know what I mean.
This weekend is going to be hard for all of us as its remembrance weekend.
Night night.
Jackie
Jackie that must be so difficult I don’t seem to breakdown in front of family and friends but behind closed doors is a different matter for me but over the next couple of months I’m not so sure I’ll control myself through anniversaries, birthdays and if course Christmas.
Yes this weekend will be difficult for me too as tomorrow would have been my Dads birthday he passed away 17 years ago but June and myself always visit his grave and put flowers in it for remembrance and birthday and he died 5 days after his birthday. This year will be the first time I’m in my own at the grave and through remembrance, as my Dad was a flag bearer in the British Legion for years.
Hope all goes well for us this weekend and you take care
Dave
It’s not going to be an easy weekend for either of us. I’ll keep you in my thoughts.
Take care and talk to you again.
Jackie
Good morning Janey
As I am new to the Sue Ryder Site I hope I am correct in sending this E-Mail.
If I receive a reply I will provide more info. my wife Patricia went to heaven in
April 2016. I met her when she was seventeen and a half at a dance school
when I had just returned from the Middle East in the Armed Forces.
Kind regards.
Bryan
Hi Bryan I’ve just seen your message I’m so sorry for your loss words cannot express the feelings you have when your loved one has passed the pain you feel is so intense . My partner of 25 years died suddenly on May 11 th this year and my life has totally changed I’ve lost my best friend I suppose you feel the same .im here anytime you want to speak take care janey
Hi It is difficult to put into words how one feels, it is the simple things in every
day life, like good morning, good night, watching tele together and what prog. to
watch, meal times when part of the table is empty, shopping together and deciding
what food to buy. With these occasions there is a total emptiness. Last week I had to buy a pair of socks, I had no idea, when everything had been brought for me,
told when to change, when to shower, what food would be on the menu. My wife
liked to decide our life style, I am not complaining it was fantastic because she to
pick the always pick the things. I remember a film I think it was “Calamity Jane”
when Doris Day lived in wooden shack and a new woman arrived in the town and she moved in with Calamity, Doris Day sang the song "A woman’s touch, how true that song is and our world.
I have experienced all the above over 58 fantastic loving togetherness years,
one recalls all the happy occasions, although some occasions present some lonely
moments. However this compensated by say simple things like walking around shops holding hands
Hope you have a reasonable day, I am just about tom make one cup of coffee,
it was always two.
Bryan
Hi It is difficult to put into words how one feels, it is the simple things in every
day life, like good morning, good night, watching tele together and what prog. to
watch, meal times when part of the table is empty, shopping together and deciding
what food to buy. With these occasions there is a total emptiness. Last week I had to buy a pair of socks, I had no idea, when everything had been brought for me,
told when to change, when to shower, what food would be on the menu. My wife
liked to decide our life style, I am not complaining it was fantastic because she to
pick the always pick the things. I remember a film I think it was “Calamity Jane”
when Doris Day lived in wooden shack and a new woman arrived in the town and she moved in with Calamity, Doris Day sang the song "A woman’s touch, how true that song is and our world.
I have experienced all the above over 58 fantastic loving togetherness years,
one recalls all the happy occasions, although some occasions present some lonely
moments. However this compensated by say simple things like walking around shops holding hands
Hope you have a reasonable day, I am just about tom make one cup of coffee,
it was always two.
Bryan
Hi. I’ve just joined this group today. My husband passed away 6 months ago and my Dr has recommended counselling. Like you I think what am I going to get out of it when all I want is my husband back. I’ve been ok for a few weeks then got hit by a wave of grief again. It’s so hard been on your own isn’t it.
Hello Tj. I think the same way as you about counselling. After losing my Husband 5 weeks ago I am too in great pain. Its not like you get a certificate and your Husband miraculously handed back to you at the end for all your hard work, and that’s the only thing we yearn for.
It is so hard and worse now I think Christmas is coming soon!! Yes I agree. Can’t see any end to it because nothing is going to bring our husbands back. No quick fix is there.
It is so hard and worse now I think Christmas is coming soon!! Yes I agree. Can’t see any end to it because nothing is going to bring our husbands back. No quick fix is there.
TJ
I’m so sorry for your loss of your husband. I lost my wife end of August this year and have been having counselling the last 5 weeks. I wish I could say to you that it helps as they have a magic wand that gets rid of all the pain. Only thing I can say it has made me emotional talking to someone about the events of my loss but this is the only way to grieve by letting out your emotions which they are very so pathetic about. I personally don’t have a problem showing my emotions at losing my dearest wife after 33 years of happy marriage at the young age of 52. Counselling tells you that the pain will ease but only in your own time and I will learn to live again but the memory of June will never go. I don’t see this at present.
I’m always here for a chat as others are on this site and Incan say this has given me comfort in the 11 weeks since June’s passing.
Dave
Tina19
I’m so sorry for your loss of your husband only a short time ago and I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my wife end of August this year and have been having counselling the last 5 weeks. As Inreplied to TJ I wish I could say to you that it helps as they have a magic wand that gets rid of all the pain. Only thing I can say it has made me emotional talking to someone about the events of my loss but this is the only way to grieve by letting out your emotions which they are very so pathetic about. I personally don’t have a problem showing my emotions at losing my dearest wife after 33 years of happy marriage at the young age of 52. Counselling tells you that the pain will ease but only in your own time and I will learn to live again but the memory of June will never go. I don’t see this at present.
I still yearn for June and would do anything just for one more day with her, but as you said no certificate handed your love one back, oh if only.
I’m always here for a chat as others are on this site and I can say this has given me comfort in the 11 weeks since June’s passing.
Dave
Thank you for your reply. I know it’s a natural process we have to go through but it is still so hard isn’t it. Unless you have been through it personally you don’t realise how difficult it is. I was only married 7 months and we had been together 8 and a half years. Yes I agree. Letting the emotions go is the only way you cope.
TJ
No one knows what we are going through unless they have lost their soulmate too. It is so hard and I’ve never experience silent pain as I call it, when you break your leg or hurt yourself you know roughly when it’ll get better and heel, bereavement of a loved one no you don’t and I don’t think I ever will heel.
Your shorter time together than some others on this site doesn’t help does bless you, it is still so hard and my heart goes out to you, as I said everyone in this site is so good at replying to you and for me it has been a little help.
I did see you reply to Mickath about the song on the radio, I commend you for this as I know either of the Michael Buble songs played at June’s funeral has got me every time and they still will.
Always here for a chat, keep strong and take care
Dave