Exactly they don’t do they. Yes silent pain is very true. You can put on a brave face but it hurts like mad inside. I am grateful for the time we had and because he was ill for so long have to keep saying to myself at least now he isn’t in pain anymore, not suffering anymore. Doesn’t always help me but I heed to remember that. Good you hear from others in the same situation isn’t it. Take care and remember the good times.
I seem to be good at the rave face but when the door closes behind me in my empty house especially evenings and mornings the emotions come flooding out.
I speak to June every morning and a t night and although I get upset it gives me comfort that she is still with me.
So sorry to hear that your husband was ill for a while and was in pain that couldn’t have been easy, thankfully for me June wasn’t in pain but she was given 2 years back in Sept 15 and we only got 11 months, which is upsetting.
Yes cherish the memories was the words June said to me.
Take care
Yes, evening are the worst time. I work full time as a nurse looking after dying people so im struggling with grieving relatives as well and i often find myself crying with them. It feels very strange that i tell them to focus on positives when i need to do that myself.
That must be difficult for you, how long was it TJ before you went back to work after Ronnie passed away. I do understand as my youngest daughter is a senior
Physiotherapist and she found it difficult going back to work looking after patients with similar symptoms to her mum. My eldest is a teacher and she wasn’t so bad going back to work.
It took me 3 weeks to go back to work after June passed away but my work has been brilliant all the way through this over the 11 months.
You must be a strong woman though as you are coping a little in a work place environment dealing with others who have people dying
My heart goes out to you
I went back to work after 3 weeks as well. Had to for financial reasons as i was off work for 4 weeks before he passed away as he was in hospital and i spent every day with him. Work has given me a purpose to carry on though. They have been great as well. I had a panic attack the day i went back and cried every day for about a fortnight! Had to move house as well 3 months ago so that kept me occupied! It is difficult and i suppose it always will be in that environment. Even more so when people use the same funeral directors! But coleagues are great and understand when i just burst into floods of tears. Familes have also said i give them strength to cope which is always good. It is good to talk about things and not keep it bottled up. Not that you can keep grief bottled up because it leaks out when you dont expect it!! I have to be strong to cope on my own. I have my own house and bills to pay. Vwry hard to carry on though but has to be done. So much to be thankful for and at the same time very sad for what i have lost.
I went back as if not I’d have gone stir crazy at home alone. I had nearly 3 weeks before June passed away as well when she went into hospice. That must have been difficult moving house too at the same time. I can understand your thoughts on a purpose especially what you do, myself I’m an engineering manager and it’s more of a distraction work for me as I currently have no purpose in life for the future and hate the person I am at present as I was such an outgoing fun loving bloke who enjoyed life but now it’s so different.
I’m finding my house is even bigger now with just me but yes I’m thankful to of what we have.
You up were up early this morning is that for work or couldn’t sleep or just awake.
Awake early! Yes not been an easy 6 months shall we say! I lived an hour away from my 2 sons so i moved to be nearer them and my grandson. So pleased i did because i would be even further at rock bottom if i hadnt! Like you say the future is unknown and so different to what we wanted it to be. I prefer to think of my husband living in a blissful world free of pain and pottering around the gardens of heaven. He loved his garden. I cant bear the thought of him not enoying life which despite his illnesses he did. Been busy this morning making soup and got the boys coming for lunch so that has kept me occupied. People say it will get easier and some days it is. Horrible experience to have to go through though!
I known what you mean people san it gest easier at the moment I fail to experience that because I know it has only been 7 months since my wife went to heaven, it is
like when you get married regardless of time which could be 20/30/40 years of
total togetherness you always remember the date and time you actually put the ring
on you wife’s/husband’s finger.
Some days are better than other days, it seems to be the simple little things that you remember which unfortunately bring tears to your eyes however much you try
and prevent that happening. Watching the tele. going shopping, saying goodnight/
goodmorning
Best Wishes Bryan
Definately the little things like you say. Just having someone there even. Yes we had only been married 7 months and together for 8 and a half years but never the less the pain is the same. Hoping things get a little easier but like you say cant see it at the minute.
That’s good you are near you sons as family are so important to us at this time.
Lovely you have them over for lunch today, my daughters were with me yesterday but they went home this morning so just plodded around this afternoon watching TV and just being on the sofa on my own, but had to take my eldest daughters school work over to her tonight she forget it and she lives an hour away from me as she is a teacher but at least it kept me busy for a couple of hours tonight.
I have and hope the same as you that our loved ones are in a better place that they can still see us but it is a place of no pain.
Hi it’s so true that being near your family is what helps at this time . I have 2 daughters and 1 son and between them they make sure that I’m not on my own too much . I went to my sons today for Sunday lunch and yesterday I met up with my daughter and granddaughter at the Xmas markets . Next week I am going away for a few days with my eldest daughter and her partner to the Lake District . At the moment my daughters partner is going through chemo again for cancer. Unfortunately it is uncurable so it’s a matter of keeping it under controll he has already had chemo and radiotherapy so we are hoping that he can fight it for a bit longer . Things are not good at the moment but we have to keep positive for him and my husband would want that too . Life sometimes deals you a cruel hand and it’s so hard to wonder why these awful things happen to us . All I wanted was to enjoy the rest of my life with my lovely husband fulfilling all our lovely plans we had made together . But it wasn’t meant to be and I feel so broken hearted for that . I am just wishing things go well for my daughter and partner in their future together as like my husband was to me he is her soulmate xx