Holding on

How do you keep going when you’ve lost the only person that actually cared about you?

It’s been 6 weeks since my partner died. Since then my family have left me to it and called me selfish for grieving. We had no children. Friends have all had their closure and are understandably getting on with their lives. I am unable to work, I see no one, I keep having massive panic attacks and all I can think of is the fact I just want to be with him, or at least not here without him.

I feel like all hope is gone and holding on is just getting harder.


Dear Dizzapea, I know how you feel. Today I woke up crying and I am still crying. Actually, I wanted to go shopping today but I cannot face it. I have no one to talk to and my friends have their own problems. Your family is really heartless or just does not understand what you are going through. I have also panic attacks. Everything is so senseless and our house (still cannot say my house) and garden is a mess like myself. Just getting out of bed and having a shower is hard work. But you have survived 6 weeks, you will survive the next days and months. Just focus on your feelings and your life and do not care about other people’s opinions or their feelings. You have to face all the grief and tears and loneliness and you have to live your life. We are all in the same situation and we all will go through this terrible time. Cry if you have to, curse if you have to. I am wishing you a lot of strength and send you a lot of love. Hugs from Anna


@Dizzapea sending hugs. I don’t have any answers for you. Have you had counselling? I am 5 weeks on this journey & like you feel so alone. I have family who are supportive but they are moving on with their lives while I’m stuck. I feel a burden. No one understands (except others on here) how hard it is. I am on a waiting list for counselling and hoping this helps. Otherwise I don’t know what to do.

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Im 12 nearly 13 weeks along now, still seem to be on auto pilot and finding the smallest things are now bringing the tears out, seem to be having more better moments than sad. But the tears are never far away and its more painful when out and seeing couples doing coupley things.
This grief certainly gives you the runaround and there is no telling how your going to feel from one day to the next.
Just stay strong and remember theres loads of us on here going through or been through the same thing and able to offer support x