Hope for the future

Hi everyone,
My beautiful wife Carole passed away last April 29th.
At first I was distraught, the one woman who I had known for half of my life was gone.
I turned to alcohol to numb the pain, I didn’t want to carry on without her, I contemplated ending my life, I was in a dark lonely place.
Fortunately I had some great friends and a wonderful sister who came to stay with me and managed to straighten my mind, she told me that this wouldn’t be what my wife wanted…she was right.

Fast forward about ten months and here I am, still standing and able to remember our wonderful life together and to realise how lucky I am to have these memories.
I still hurt, I still cry, I also smile and sometimes laugh when I reminisce with a friend over something Carole had said or done.
In my heart I have realised that I still have a life to lead. I am 57 and do not know what the future holds, I believe it can be positive and so onwards i will go.

Luckily I have a job I enjoy, I now need to adapt into my single life and find a new reason for being here. I want to embrace life, see the goodness in the world and try to do the best I can to make my wife proud of me.

I get that we all react in different ways, I just wanted to say there is hope, even though i didn’t believe this once.
Apologies for rambling, lots of love to you all
Joe x

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Thats good to hear and gives me hope for the future…i just cant see it yet. Im just existing each day, waiting for something, waiting for the day I’ll be reunited with me amazing hubby, but at 48 that may be ages.

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Thank you @joeb40 such similar timing to me as Richard died on 25th April.
I am so pleased you got that help needed and that you now have the determination so similar to the way I feel. I know I want to make Richard proud of me so will get on with things to the best of my ability between the lower times.
Hugs xxx

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Hi Joe
How brave of you to come on the forum. It is so nice to hear from someone who is doing their best to get through the misery of grief.
Your so right we are lost souls in the early days but although time doesn’t heal us it does give us time to learn to live again and cope with the pain of our loss. What we do with that time is up to us but you seem to be up to the challenge ahead and I wish you all the luck in the world.
I hope others will read your post and it will give them the strength to put one foot infront of the other.
Best Wishes

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Love to you too, Joe, and I truly wish you the very best for your new future. I am t nearly three tears in and still here! It’s hard, but it can be done.
Hugs,
Ann xx

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Freudian slip there!! I said I was three tears in, not years! Xx