My beautiful son aged 32 passed away 9 weeks ago.
He lived at home & I was his full time carer.
I miss him so very much and feel lost. The house feels so empty without him.
1 Like
Cdkr1
Oh I am so sorry . I feel your pain. I cared for my darling son for 20 years, he had pschzophrenia. It was just me and him, we were a team. I have no one now. If i can help you in any way I will. Please take care
I lost my special needs son last may, he was 40 and we were together 24/7, I miss him so much 
They tell me it gets easier.
I’m here if you need to chat, I know exactly how your feeling.xxxx
Thanks for your message. I don’t know how to go on without him. I cared for him all his adult life. We were an amazing team. He was the kindest, most caring person. I don’t want this life now, I just want to be with him wherever he has gone
2 Likes
Penny11 Teresa8, cdkr1, so sorry you find yourself on this awful journey .it’s been over 2 years for me since the loss of my son and I still feel the same . As a mother no matter what age they are they are always our babies. I don’t know how we go on but we do, I feel we don’t want to but we do, just waiting, waiting hoping one day we will see them again. This time of year is so distressing to, how to get through Christmas, a time that has always been happy in the past, never the same again. Christmas decorations going up, carols , nights drawing in , it’s all like another dagger in the heart.
I hope this site helps you as it has helped me. I found it’s only on here people get it , and you can bring all your feelings here and hopefully find some comfort as others feel the same and understand some of the pain you are going through. Nothing can prepare you for this, it’s another world, like another reality we just keep trying to navigate , when we don’t even want to . We just want to get back to the one we knew. I just keep coming onto this site when there is no where else to turn. Someone is always here and that in itself helps. Some amazing people on here , look through the threads you will find much support. X
1 Like
Jss, Penny11, Teresa8
Thank you for your messages & offers of support.
I guess in a way it’s reassuring to know that the way I’m feeling right now is “ normal”
I’ve been reading lots of messages on this site & it’s good to know I have support & understanding from people who are on the same awful journey as I find myself on now
I do hope in time it gets easier. I want to be able to remember my son & smile but I’m not sure if that time will ever come.
Our lives will never be the same again & although I have a good network of support around me in family & friends I just don’t think they fully understand.
Thank you for listening
1 Like
Hi. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
I lost my nephew 4 weeks ago but he’s like my son. He’s 32 and has disabilities so needs 24 he care so me And my sister cared for him together. He’s the light of our lives. The centre of our word. He just loves life and loves family. So caring and just a beautiful soul. He had prolonged seizures and didn’t recover so this was a massive shock to our family. He loves everything in life such as birthdays Christmas Holliday and now I can’t bare the thought of Christmas round the corner. If I think of the future it makes me worse so I’m trying not to and just think of today which is bad enough. My heart has been ripped out and without him I feel so lost and I do just want to be with him. I have a big family and we’ve decided we have to do Christmas for him because it was his favourite time of the year but it’s going to be the hardest thing to do. I talk to him every day and just cry all the time. I miss him so much it hurts. We feel lost because our beautiful boys needed us so much but we also need them too. One day at a time. Please look after yourself our boys will want us too XX
Dawn-A I’m so sorry that you have also found yourself on this awful journey. My son also had seizures every day however he was taken ill & passed away from pneumonia. My life like yours was caring for my son & I’m just feeling empty & lost. One minute think I’m alright then next I’m sobbing again. Im at week 12 now & truthfully I think it’s gotten worse as times goes on. I’m just taking it day at a time.
It is lovely that you will do Christmas as your nephew would want you to. Will be very hard for you but I’m sure you’ll do him proud. Remember don’t put yourself under too much pressure and make time for yourself. I’m not making any plans but will visit my daughter & grandson on the day.
It is so true when you said that our boys needed us but we also needed them.
I know how you are feeling & I’m here if you want to chat Please take care & look after yourself
1 Like
Our family are very close and it’s very big. We have always got a meal or a party or a get together happening and Kyle was just the centre of our world. Everyone just loves him and always made an impression on everyone. I feel like what’s my purpose now. He’s always been my absolute priority in my life and love that he needs me and I could always give him everything he needed as life was hard enough for him I made it easier. He’s my heartbeat every day. Now I feel nothing. I’m lost and empty and don’t know what to do about it. I can’t believe I won’t see him again and can’t get my head around that. I realise how much I need him too.
Your right we shouldn’t put to much pressure on ourselves to do or think anything. Thank you so much for your reply it means so much to be able to express how I’m feeling and you understand and by reading your replies help me. I’m always here too. You take care X
1 Like
Hi - just noticed it is exactly a month since you posted this. I still ask myself “how do I carry on without him” it will be 3 years 11/12/23. I watched videos of him yesterday an emotional wreck today. My hair has started to fall out - trauma! He was my youngest son and passed at 39. The only thing in my favour is I am 72 at Christmas so at least I was not young to carry this pain. TBH does not get any better it is a life sentence
However, he was worth the raw pain. xx
1 Like
I honestly don’t know how I get through each day. I miss him so much, I hate my home now, everything reminds me of my boy. I cry all the time.
My birthday is Christmas eve, he used to make such a fuss of me. I have no one now.
I wish you well, please take care of yourself
Penny
I know exactly how you feel, I miss my son so much.
Please talk to someone, I’m dreading Christmas as well, I’ve been talking to a councillor. She has been giving me little tasks to do, very small baby steps she says.
xx
Aw, thank you. I have been talking to a lovely lady from Cruse. X
I’m pleased that you’re talking, I found it easier to talk to a stranger than family at first but she encouraged me to talk to them.
I thought they had all moved on going back to work , and I was home alone without my son, but they were hurting and didn’t want to upset me by talking about him.xx