This is my first time using this site so not sure if im doing this right im looking to chat with people going through the same thing because if one more person that has no idea what im going through tells me to sore my head out and get on with my life think I’ll explode I’m not coping at all since the loss of my husband in April this year and haven’t got a clue how to live without him he was only 45 years old and it was a unexpected death due to a bleed on both sides of his brain so it was a total shock i go to bed hoping i don’twake up the next morning just so i can be back with my husband is this normal or am i going crazy
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think we have all had comments like that. worse one i had was from a lady round the church who informed me that loads of people lose husbands, its part of life, 2 weeks after he died.
you will find loads of nice people on here who will support you and not come up with stupid comments. xxx
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Thank you for your reply first of all im so sorry for your loss it just puzzles me how someone could think a comment like that is going to help anyone grieving x
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Angela79,
I am sorry you are on this crap path. You are still in early grief. You are not going crazy. I think most of us, have had the thought of hoping we don’t wake up. This life is not what we expected. Yet we keep going step by step.
I am afraid unless you are on this path,people don’t know how to talk to us. The one what got me is are you better yet ? Let’s just check no Sue still not here. I will never be whole again. Please look after yourself, this Is your grief journey, do not be bullied into how you should feel. Take care
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I’ve had some idiotic remarks aimed my way, too. Even good friends can say dumb things. They think like it’s a bad hair day or something . They do not get it. I have no clue why. Losing your partner is so devastating on so many levels. It’s normal to want to be w/ them, depression, which is normal, too. One’s emotions are very tumultuos. Very sorry for your loss.
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I am so sorry for your loss Angela , i am around the same time scale as you , my partner passed away suddenly April 14th aged 63 to SADS . It is such a horrible time we are all going through and only those on this site fully understand , you have done the right thing joining this site. That feeling of now been so alone without our “soulmates” , seeing other couples together , knowing we have not only lost our loved ones but also a future that we were planning together…….heart breaking 
Please take care of yourself and keep posting on here it does help . Linda
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I had a vicar say that to me too! “You know it’s part of life Ann”. As if I should stop hurting after some set period of time. You’d think a vicar would have had enough experience of supporting grieving spouses to not be so tactless. I think he was about to say something equally trite about meeting Neil in heaven when I managed to step away. I’m not even one of his congregation.
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Thank you all for your kind words and support i keep telling myself he’s just on holiday or working away and i really don’t know if im doing more harm than good im so confused at the minute as to what im ment to be doing some say i need to get out the house but if i do and i see couples or if someone i know asks how i am i just want to scream and lash out ive never been someone that likes to go out and about I’m more happy in my own soundings it would of been our 3rd wedding anniversary on the 7th of October and i was thinking what can i do to mark the day so i done one of the things we both loved to do together and i put my Christmas decorations up and from this year going forward i will mark our wedding anniversary by doing the same yes ive had so many people say its to early but you know what i don’t care sorry for the long paragraph i really hope i we can all help each other through this heartbreaking time 
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I’m sorry for you. I lost my husband 2 months ago. We live in a very rural area so I don’t have much if any contact from others. My children live far away except for one, but he is too busy. I know they think I should be getting on with my life. I will do what I feel, so some days I cry and scream as loud as I can. Other days, I stay busy by keeping my place comfortable and working in the garden. I have a bleeding disorder, I had 2 brain surgeries a year ago. I can’t remember yesterday so I write everything down, the grocery store is 2 miles away but I get lost every time. My husband took great care of me, he managed my meds, my meals, helped me bathe, he was involved with my doctors. I understand I will most likely have another brain hematoma. So I have a list of things I must do legal matters, preparing for selling my house etc. I don’t want to live my days wondering when my brain will fail me. I am determined to decide when I will die. Once I decided this, I felt stronger. So, I think that you need to work at doing what is most important for you. Take care of yourself, eat, sleep, find something you enjoy doing and do it, write a journal and be honest with yourself. Make a to do list every day be proud of what you have accomplished. When you have a day full of tears, add screaming at the top of your lungs, it’s really cleansing. Most importantly, remember who you are, don’t loose her.
It feels to me like he minimized your deep grief w/ what he said. He definitely doesn’t get it.
Just a little thought of what I do my darling husband died 6 years ago…..I have a photo of him with a lovely smile I close my eyes and talk to him tell him I love and finish with smile open my eyes and he is giving me a lovely smile. Love to all living in this life.
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Im only 8 days on this path. I lost my partner last monday to 2 strokes, he was doing well then he had a bleed on his brain then started going down hill. Everyday is a struggle, i know i’m in the early days of my grief, im slowly starting to except he has gone but not seeing his face, hearing his voice or hearing the words I LOVE YOU anymore just breaks me. The funeral will arrive soon, the final goodbye, his final journey. I don’t know how i will carry on without him. I will always love him and i believe 1 day we will be together again in another life and he will welcome me with open arms. Christmas and his birthday in january will be hard as it will be the 1st 1 without him.