Just over a week ago, I lost my wife following a long term cancer battle. We were together for 15 years and she fought the cancer the entire time. Our marriage was perfect, I couldn’t have met a more perfect person for me and she is all I’ve ever known. I was so so happy, and it was down to my beautiful wife. She was an amazing mother and our family was all I ever wanted in life.
I’m 34 years old and there is just me and my young daughter. I love my daughter so much but I can’t help feeling like I don’t want to be here anymore. All I feel is overwhelming sadness and I don’t want to face the rest of my life without my wife. I feel like I can never be happy again and my daughter deserves better.
How do people get through this? How do people carry on?
Im so sorry for your loss, i lost my husband in December so i bid further on then you i hate to say it but i felt worse as time went on but i think its the realisation and everything sinking in. I too have no interest in carrying on, i dont want to kill myself i just dont want to live anymore but sadly i think this is really common,but you will start to feel better and im sure your daughter will help with that, however i do now get a lot of comfort from feeling my husband with me, and also every morning i tell myself what would i say to a friend or relative if they were going through the same thing and take my own advice. There is no right or wrong in this and no time scale but i hope you start to feel better soon take care and and remember your daughter needs you more then ever now and make your wife proud good luck xx
Hi kdv
I have been on this journey over three years now so I feel experienced enough to offer you advice.
We all feel as if our life has come to an end and in some ways it has or at least the life we had become accustomed to but we do survive and you will to. We take each small step and cry for England but eventually our life does start to make some sense again and the love we had known is still with us our grieving becomes more bearable. Give yourself time and have patience and eventully you will start to come out the other end. Your daughter needs you more than ever now so keep remembering this when you have your down times.
Good luck to you and your young daughter
@kdv
Sending love to you and your daughter and deep sympathy.
I echo what others have said in that your daughter will need you to be there sorry her as much as you can be. For me, the fact that my younger, learning disabled daughter would fall apart if I do means I have to keep going and make a new normal for us.
My husband was 60 when he died last April, which I know probably seems old compared to your terrible loss of a wife so young. Believe me though, you are NEVER ready to lose the one you love so much and no amount of time together is enough. He died completely out of the blue when he seemed extremely fit and well.
Ten months later I do have a life. Am I happy? Some days for a short while yes. Truly happy - of course not.
I do intend to make the best life I can for myself and my daughters though and to honour my husband by looking after all that mattered to him.
In the early days, simply plodding around at home getting meals was enough and I accepted any help from people willing to scoop my younger daughter up to keep her busy and having a semi normal life, which was what she needed and my older daughter and I could not provide.
Keep posting on here as others here have been through similar experiences which helps. I certainly was guilty before of not comprehending how devastating losing your life partner would be. We knew we didn’t want to be here without the other but I never suspected how truly debilitating this level of grief would be.
Thank you for the replies. I cared for my wife for many years, the last 18 months were particularly hard as she deteriorated.
The family support team warned me it’s common to feel relief and then guilt at the passing of someone you’ve cared for so long. That hasn’t happened though, all I have felt is this overwhelming sadness and pain.
I never imagined that the grief would be so much harder than the past few years.
Hi i lost my husband suddenly 5 weeks ago and i too feel like I dont want to be here anymore either,life is to unbearable, I have to keep going for my child, but if i did not have him i don’t think i would be here. I feel so overwhelmed with missing him that my mind is preoccupied with him all the time. I just want the pain worry and sadness to stop
Hugs to you too @Taz21 You have had such a shock which makes it take so long to accept the reality of your loss too. Our children (whatever age) need us so we’ll do it.
Karen xxx
@Taz21. Thinking of you & your daughter. I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my partner on 23 December 2022, there are nights when I go to bed and wish not to wake in the morning to face another painful day. Your husband will give you the strength to carry on not only for your daughter but you too. He would want you to live life for both him and yourself. This is what I keep telling myself anyway and hopefully like people keep telling me it will get easier. Take care my lovely.
I lost my wife sue to pancreatic cancer on the first of February this year. I have my daughter and my wifes family who i call my own are really supportive .but i feel like I don’t want to be here. But i made sue a promise that I will carry on being the person she made me into. Its not my time yet and i know sue wouldn’t want me to be there yet
i hate to say it but i felt worse as time went on but i think its the realisation and everything sinking in. I too have no interest in carrying on, i dont want to kill myself i just dont want to live anymore but sadly i think this is really common,but you will start to feel better and im sure your daughter will help with that, however i do now get a lot of comfort from feeling my husband with me, and also every morning i tell myself what would i say to a friend or relative if they were going through the same thing and take my own advice. There is no right or wrong in this and no time scale but i hope you start to feel better soon take care and and remember your daughter needs you more then ever now and make your wife proud 
