How do I go on

I lost my very dear and close stepdad yesterday to cancer. He was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in October 2020 and given 2 years to live. He went through chemo as a maintenance drug. Slowly started declining. Him and my mum put their house on the market January 2022 as she would not be able to pay the payments on just her wage. He went into hospital 2 weeks ago due to not eating. They finally got an offer on the house on tuesday (he was quite alert that day) and passed away yesterday. Ive never lost anyone that close to me before and i cant stop crying. Thinking how he’ll miss out on my 4 year old sons life. How he’ll miss out on everything. My mum has to go through a house move alone. We have hardly any family and he was pretty much like a dad to me. Tiny things set me off crying but i still have to live as normal as possible for my son. Be strong for my mum and go to work full time and study for a degree. We knew it was coming but it still really hurts


Hi ive lost my dad yesterday morning to renal cancer, its been horrfic and the worse part of my life to date…the emptiness im feel right now is consuming me, it was literally like some turned off the light and he was gone…the house feels cold and quite, my mum is in bits, i know people say we get through, and we always do, its just the truma of what you cant unsee, we cared for dad at my parents house,that was his wishes, i dont know how to soothe your pain, but im here if you want to talk…take care


So fresh for you both. It takes me back 3 and a half months when it had just happened to me “yesterday”. It hurt, but I didn’t know it at the time, that worse was to come. I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but no-one can. You have to play mental tricks on yourself if you want to find something positive in all this. Otherwise, the shock and the numbness passes and the grief really kicks in. You can at least be prepared for it, you have found your way here early. I wish you the strength you will need to live with this. Notice I don’t say get through it. I don’t think you do, you just slowly, slowly learn how to live with it.

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My mom passed away 2 years ago from brain tumors, & it’s wrong what people say, just because they go through months of illness, & you know it’s coming, nothing can prepare you for when they do finally pass. Sending hugs of support :teddy_bear:.
I agree with Clarzie78, we had to care for my mom at home during the COVID lockdowns, right up to the day she passed, it’s not a job for the faint hearted, & there’s a lot you can’t unsee, but also it’s the way your like, totally busy with everything you have to do caring for your loved one, & when they pass, suddenly there’s nothing, all this spare time, & a big empty space that’s hard to fill, can’t be filled, & feeling lost.

Especially when it’s all so raw & new, it painful. I’m still in the zone of taking things one day at a time, & grieving in my own way, there will still be moments when things remind us of our loved ones, but that’s ok.

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