How do we cope

Since loosing my husband in 2020 I used this site a lot and it helped me hugely.
Unfortunately I have had to return as I have had a setback. My anxieties have come into play now and my doctor thinks that due to anxiety it is causing me chest flutters and have been but on a low dose of beta blockers . I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this and over come it if so how did you do it what helped you . I do worry about taking Ill and being alone what would I do .


Hi Kazzer,

Yes I have, had an ECG nothing shows, I mainly seems to be when I’m stressed or worried. I usually have to sit for a couple of minutes as it feels like I’m going to faint. Only thing been picked up is high blood pressure, pre-diabetes and cholesterol. My health has definitely declined since my husband died two years ago.
I do have family that live close, but part of me still worries about being in my own. they can’t be with me 24/7. But I do have one of those life line pendants in the house, it used to be my husband’s so that does give me a little assurance.
Debbie x


Debbie57 thank you for your reply I have family close by in fact my daughter lives on the same street but I try not to rely on them as they have their own life to live my son doesn’t live far away and visits me at week ends but you just paint a happy face in when in their presence don’t you


Becoming ill is a worry when on your own. How would i unlock the door for the ambulance if I’ve just fallen down the stairs, slipped in the bath etc etc! ! Everything runs through your head. In the grips of the pandemic I worried who’d look after me if I was ill - my daughter in law said I’d just have to go to hospital. But when they were ill I frequently left shopping at their door. Fortunately I’m feeling ok at the moment but old age doesn’t come itself :woozy_face:

Before when our phone rang my hubby would say - what are they (son & daughter) wanting done now!!
And off he’d go to Screwfix. But he did it willingly and never asked for payment - -
I’ve now a list of small jobs but it’s not on their radar.
The house is still standing, the bills are paid, I’m up & dressed so outwardly I must be coping?

G. X

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Hi @Kazzer and @Grandma

Doug was like that, always doing jobs and helping our children. Seems to be a generation thing but he was very practical and good at DIY and could do most things. I was brought up on a farm and remember Doug often helping my mum and dad.
Now, I try to be independent and do everything myself. Occasionally I have to give up and am defeated, asking for help.
Usually they help, but like you said kasser I don’t like to ask as they do have busy lives of their own.
It’s no fun getting older, at least as I still work at the moment if I don’t go in and haven’t called in by 8am, work will try to contact me or my next of kin.
But at the moment I’m still standing and as you said Grandma the bills are all paid.

Debbie x