It’s been 9 months for me and my happiness has gone. How do you cope ? One minute ok the next crying it’s 2pm your still in bed…tried counseling, but it’s the attachment of happiness I miss, life is like a jigsaw puzzle and I’m missing pieces to my puzzle, just wondered how people cope
Im sorry for your loss and finding yourself on this forum. I think we all feel the same. I never know how i will feel but i try to be kind to myself and try not to look too far ahead. I do plan things in and i have to get up for my dog. Sending a big hug
Thank you I just can’t find happiness in anything I do except in bed watching Netflix
So sorry for your loss. Its been only six months since I lost my partner Mike unexpectedly. Like you I too tried counselling. Found it just put me back. Family and friends try but they have their own lives and time moves on for them which I dont begrudge. Work thank goodness is my saviour and they have been brilliant. After work however I feel I just exist without him by my side to give me the comfort and love and support he gave me - but for his sake I feel I have to get one foot in front of the other and just get through each day the best I can. Otherwise what was it all for and he’d be the first to wonder why I’m in such turmoil - he was the most laid back guy and never worried about a thing! I need to live for him. But know exactly where you are coming from. Please try to be kind to yourself.
Netflix has been my saviour too. Never watched much before.
But when I try to sleep I think of stuff and also I’m getting fatter unfit due to the grief of sitting in bed waiting for the grief to be over
It is so very hard. I haven’t lost a partner, but lost a mum in May and it’s so difficult after being with her for 50 years. We have to think of what they would want for us. Would your partner want you to be in bed grieving? I think they would want us to be happy. I know that is tremendously hard.
Try to think of things you like to do yourself. I know some people don’t eat well (others eat lots!). I eat well. Be kind to yourself. And eat well, but maybe each day think of a nice eatable treat for yourself and look forward to that. I don’t know if you have a garden, but with the nice weather, I take myself outside for an hour at lunch and sit in the garden with a cake and coffee and just relax in the fresh air.
It’s just the little things we have to take one step at a time.
I’m also reading books about grief, which helps.
ive lost all interest in everything, i feel so tierd all the time, i keep thinking of my past life, i could of been a better mother, but i come from a trauma childhood too, i know we cant change the past or go back to it, i feel i have no one to talk too who understands, but i don’t want to give my life up either, i just want it to go back to how it was
I lost my brother a year ago, in very tragic and traumatic circumstances. The unbearable loss and pain I feel on a daily basis is indescribable. my solace, if you can call it that, is how much I LOVE him, so deeply, when the time is right and when you are ready…you will find new opportunities and adventures, perhaps taking you out of your comfort zone, something will internally and emotionally shift, taking you to the next level of change, when you are ready, you will have the courage to embrace this. You are doing great just as you are, just be…
I am sorry u are suffering so much Walking in nature really helps me so much Try and take a short walk every day try and notice nature Anything flowers insects birds It helps distract your mind and gives it a rest from grief Blessings
sorry for your loss i thought life was over when my wife suddenly passed away after a very short illness. I had all kinds of emotions from constant crying to feeling guilt that during our life together i could have done things during.
I tried countless support groups but i just couldn’t get over rhe nightmare of grief, in the first few months, i couldn’t see any future now 7 months on yes the loss still hurts but with my daughters help we just took small steps forward some good days then dark days but she would not have wanted me to be overcome i now learnt to look after the garden we created over 50 years sitting on our stone seat and just remembering all the beautiful things we have done.
Sending lots of hugs
My husband died suddenly and unexpectedly just 3 months ago. I have felt so ill at times, nausea and unable to eat. Slowly i was adjusting to a new regime and routine , managing to sleep better. Then a bolt from the blue, my son’s marriage is in trouble and he moves back in with me and having 3 grandaughters stay at times too. I love them all to bits but feel overwhelmed and struggling to emotionally support them as i have no reserves left. Tomorrow is a school strike day and i have 2 other grandchildren to look after. I love them all but finding it hard to cope.
Having children in your life with unconditional love means your so lucky to have grandchildren in your life, lots of grandparents don’t get that , life is so hard at times
Hi i absolutely agree grandchildren are an treasure but cant drain all the energy emotionally or physically
Due to my own circumstances I feel I understand what you are going through
I should try and talk to my children about this if you can. I suspect you have been a very caring mother and grandmother and have done a lot for your family in the past I don’t suppose they realise how much your loss has effected you as you always appeared very strong. I expect you are feeling emotionally and physically drained and maybe even need some time alone to grieve.Don’t feel guilty try and discuss with your children so they can give you the support you need Blessings you can’t care for others if you don’t take care of yourself first
Thank you that’s exactly right, my children are all busy so I am a empty nest, thank you
@Sadnow @Stranger1 you are so right . But tonight my son and I went out together. We laughed and cried. He said it was the best night he’d had with me and said I’d been a terrific mum. We talked about his dad and regrets he had but i told him how proud he was of him. Hopefully we can build his confidence and save his marriage.
Freefaller Your message made me smile I hope your son works things out. There you go again being the caring mum I hope you find some peace and support for yourself too
What you are describing a normal reaction Don’t feel bad Grief is a very complex emotion Take care of yourself
Bless you my nephew died very tragic serious circumstances at least 5 years ago His sister my niece is still suffering so much Please look after yourself and seek professional help