How do you manage?

The answer.
You have to, theres no other way.

Ive been taking a lot of comfort from the posts on here. Its been nearly two years since my father passed away and everyday feels the same. I dont really know what I’m expecting to happen I probably havent been trying hard enough to get on, but when you feel so low, deflated and consumed by sadness the ability to spring out of bed in the morning with a different focus seems impossible. I probably need to go back to a therapist but do other people feel you end up just saying the same things over and over again and getting nowhere. Like everyone here I miss how life was and know it wont be the same again. Relationships end and over time you come to terms with it. The loss of a parent is completely different. The joy, lightness and laughter of life feels like its gone forever.

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Hi @Matt2,

Thank you so much for sharing this with the community :blue_heart: I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump - hopefully someone will be along to share their thoughts.

Take good care,
Seaneen

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I know exactly how you feel. I lost my Mum in March this year and it’s completely turned my world upsidedown and I don’t know who I am anymore.

I went to bereavement counselling 8 weeks after she passed and I to felt the same way like it was always the same discussion about how much I miss her and the old life I once had.

Everything just seems so pointless these days although I keep saying to myself that I want to live life for my Mum but it is so hard x

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I agree @Matt2 that there’s no alternative, we just have to keep trying to get through the days… I think it does help to know what you’re dealing with though so I have done a lot of reading and research. Really just to be proactive and try to help myself. My feeling is that if you keep going through the motions of living, it’ll become easier in time… I hope…
Best wishes xx

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You know the answer already! But one thing that’s really helped me since my partner died suddenly at the end of May is to write letters to him - not fancy ones, just in an old jotter. I was his full time carer for the last few years and we talked all the time, and when he first went the silence was unbearable, so I started the letters because the conversations were still bubbling up in me and I had nowhere to put them. I’m still writing, at least once a day, sometimes more, and I believe it’s literally saved my sanity. Maybe worth a try, or perhaps the idea might spark something which will work better for you? All the best to you.

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Hey Jess I to lost my mum January 1st 2022, I am still struggling so much it was so sudden and feel no one understands

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I understand completely, feel free to send me a message anytime x

@Rosiepink hiya do you have any recommendations on the reading please ? X

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Thank you for your thoughts

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I feel this , i can’t see a way to feel any better .

I can relate to your words. I lost my mum in April this year and I feel like I am waiting for there to be a way to “fix” it which I perhaps just haven’t figured out yet. It is like my mind can’t comprehend that we won’t speak again and surely there has to be another way. My sensible and logical side knows there isn’t. The fact you’re on this site and being aware of how you feel can surely only been a good sign of you trying to find a way forward (not “moving on” or forgetting of course) so I send you all the strength and best wishes with that x

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@Laura8 I have borrowed quite a few from my local library… a really good one is by James Withey, ‘How to get to grips with grief’ - 40 ways to manage the unmanageable…
So easy to read, full of practical advice.

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@Rosiepink thank you . Hope you are doing ok x

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Thank you Jess, but really don’t know where to start, I lost both my parents suddenly had counselling over the phone but that was a waste of time, oh I don’t know Jess just having a really bad day today, anyway how are you coping xxxx

Hey Matt, I feel just how you do, it’s like what else matters, I’ve lost 4 members of my close family in as many years , my stepdad who really was my dad, my biological dad, my nephew and most recent my mum, my mum passing has been the most devastating to me, she was my rock and now I have nothing my sisters try but they ain’t my mum, things are so bad for me because of losing her xxx

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