How do you stop reliving the last few hours

Hello, my husband died very suddenly in hospital 6 months ago. Finding it difficult at moment as keep going over and over on my head his last couple of hours, should I have said more, done more the list goes on. In my practical head I know there was nothing that could be done but still torments me.

Hi Rettie67
I lost my dear wife of 50yrs marriage five weeks ago and saw her take her last breath in hospital as a result of pancreatic cancer. I’m not clear whether you found yourself in the same position with your dear husband. Please be assured that when its time for a loved one to pass there is nothing anyone can do. They know we loved them. They know we said and did all we could possibly do. A true love knows no boundaries. Believe me there is more to a loved ones passing than we could possibly know. My Anne passed with a smile on her face after a week of extreme discomfort. Hope this helps


Thankyou and so sorry for your loss of your wife.
You are right there is nothing that could have been done. Was thankful myself and daughter were with him. The last thing he said to us was that he loved us both, he didn’t know he wouldn’t make it which is a blessing too. Hope you are being kind to yourself. It’s the one thing we need to be.
My husband’s favourite saying was always “today is a good day” which we all are trying to hold on to.
Kind regards


Hi Rettie My hubby passed away 22weeks tomorrow in hospital. I decided that for every negative memory I would try and balance out with a good memory, sounds daft but slowly it’s working. I was lucky I had 24 hours with my hubby after they told him he was dying and it would be within the next few days totally unexpected, we filled our hours talking for as long as we could , when I told him I loved him, he replied you have to say that I know. Your hubby would have said the same, he knew you loved him and did everything you could.

Hello Silverlady.
That must have been so hard for you but also lovely that you had the time to talk to each other.
Thankyou for the advice of replacing the positive with the negative needed to be reminded of that, normally I am a positive person.
Do hope your journey continues to be a positive one.

Thank you life is a bit like a tidal wave big highs big lows but slowly getting to the shore. Take care

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