How long is too long New husband unhappy

My husband died in 1999 at the age of 39, I was 28. It was expected. He was my soul mate and the reason I am who I am today. I had a short disastrous marriage after, which resulted in the blessing of my beautiful daughter. I have been with my 3rd husband 10 years but he is insisting that I should be over my late husband now. He can not understand why something can trigger me back 18 years in a split second and it rip my heart out. I have always thought that I am who I am because of my experiences in life. I don’t mention my late husband all the time but I can and do use memories of what we went through sometimes when faced with others who are or have experience the same thing. A positive from a negative. Should I no longer feel the aching pain, heart wrenching reminisces, the guilt of being the one going on is finally fading. We shared the same birthday. My husband says our kids deserve to celebrate mummies birthday so we do, but it stings a little still. How do you just forget and never mention them or the experiences again?

Hi JB im very sorry for your loss .You get through life the best way you can time doesnt heal it makes you think a different way not being flippant the phrase how long is a piece of string applies here and to everybody that has lost loved ones .All the best Colin