How to cope?!?

I lost my Mum very suddenly in January this year and then with this pandemic I really do not feel like I have had time to come to terms with what has happened, especially with not seeing my Dad. We speak daily through messages or face time but it is not the same. I feel like I have so much going on in my mind with trying to home school a 7 year old and a 3 year old, loosing my Mum, everyday things not being the same (i know its the same for everyone) and talking to my husband about my feelings. I have always been a private person, so sharing my feelings is something that I am not used to doing. I have been having suicidal thoughts and very bad mood swings, shouting at the smallest things, which seem to be a big thing for me. I just do not see the point of being here, I know I have my children who I do love with all my heart but I just feel numb. Please tell me these are normal feelings to have? I was due to start counselling but due to the pandemic it is now on hold, as I would prefer to speak to someone face to face rather than than over the phone as I feel I would share my feelings better.

Hello Tigger30,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your mum suddenly in January. It sounds as though things are very tough, particularly with the added pressures of our current situation. What you are feeling is normal and many people here have shared similar experiences. However, sometimes these feelings can become overwhelming and it is important to reach out for some support

I’m glad that you’ve been able to talk about how you’re feeling here. There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone.

The Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s bothering you (116 123, or jo@samaritans.org).

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling You mention that you’d prefer to see someone face to face rather than talking on the phone, so perhaps video support might be an option until other services open up again. Your first session in our service is an assessment to see how we can best support you, but it’s also an opportunity for you to see whether you like the video format. You’d be more than welcome to book an assessment and see what you think.

You deserve care and support, so please do reach out to one of these services. If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Take care,
Eleanor

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Thank you for your reply and all the information you have given. I will have a go and see if the video calling is right for me, as would be better than over the phone as I feel I will open up more. I do speak to my husband, but I feel he doesn’t understand and seem to get annoyed with him so find myself not bothering xx

Hi tigger30,

I know exactly how you feel. My mum died suddenly in june and used to help me alot with my 12 year old daughter. She was the centre of our household.
Some days I dont want to go on but i dont want to leave my partner and daughter either.
I know i will never be the same again and my mum just got me.
We understood each other and I’m so lost without her. But I’m putting each foot in front of each other every day and trying to keep going for my mums sake, my partners sake, my daughters sake and my sake
It’s hard but we will get there x

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