How to cope

I lost my husband a year on the 11th November and my anxiety got worse don’t how to handle it dreading it got to stay strong for my children but it’s hard annie

Dear Annie11

The week leading up to my first anniversary was just horrible. Thought my head would explode at times. The actual day just stayed in bed but managed to get through the day somehow. Everyday remains a challenge.



I have had one of the 1st, as I call them, so far. It was our wedding anniversary in September. I lost Martin in March. Looking back the days building up to the date was actually a lot worse then the day itself.
I have his birthday this month. Not sure how that will be.

Take care
Dee xxx

Hiya dee I have had everything but the memory and leading up to it was worse I just wish it was over with my anxiety levels are sky high how are you take care of yourself lv annie x

Hi Annie,

Sometimes I think I am having an ok day but then when I think about it the reality is I’m just getting by. Sometimes I feel guilty that any thoughts of Martin are stopped in their tracks purely because it makes my heart feel like it is about to explode… I wonder if I will ever reach the point when thinking of him will bring me pleasure not pain. I guess the pain comes from the greed of wanting more of our 'old normal life ’

Next year i am traveling to the Ilse of Wight to scatter my husbands ashes with his dad. I know this is the one thing he wants but I also feel sad about it because I’m not so sure I will get back to the isle at any point afterwards.

I had a very good friend who was so supportive when I lost my husband, unfortunately she suffered a massive stroke 6 weeks after Martin passed and did not survive, She was only 47. Her ashes are scattered with her mum, very close by and I find I visit her as often as I can. Almost as if by saying hi to Clare, Martin might be on the fringes.
She went to see him for me in the chapel of rest as I couldnt face it. She said she had a good chat with him.

Its funny how your mind works during this grieving process. I find myself grabbing anything that relates to Martin, no matter how bizarre it is.

I hope you are having an ok day!!

Love to everyone tuning in.

Dee xxx


Hi Dee64, my 1st was also our wedding anniversary in September, would of been 38 years, and her birthday in next month so dreading it already, I have booked a couple of days off so I can deal with it in whatever way may come along.

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