How to cope

My husband John died unexpectedly in October last year. I coped with the shock. I coped with Christmas and then our dog needing major surgery in February. I moved home to be nearer our daughter in May. Now there is no trauma to cope with and I’m feeling suddenly very very sad. Suddenly there is nothing to plan for to keep me engaged. Perhaps by doing things I’ve put off dealing with the grief and I don’t know how to deal with that. It goes to show how people deal with loss in different ways. I’m dreading the anniversary of him dying and already thinking of ways to’cope’. I guess this is how it will be in the future.

Jan, my heart goes out to you because you have done so much in the last six months it’s no surprise you feel low. A bit late now but the first two years should be taken slowly but life doesn’t always work out like that and yours certainly hasn’t, so yes what you are feeling is a normal result. I am so pleased you are already think about doing something on the anniversary day because those days are hard even when you are further down the road. I always try to think of what we would do together if he was still here, I know that’s crazy. Perhaps it’s time for you to just sit and learn to relax a little, find things you want to do not what needs to be done and things you want to try and use in the future. As they say things outside the ‘box’. Do things just for you, thin about you and take time to think about you. I know that’s difficult because as mums we don’t but now it’s your time. Hope this helps just a little. Sending hugs. S xx

Hi Jan sorry for your loss I lost my daughter Leah in Jan this year she was 25 and died of breast and liver cancer it was aggressive it was 13 months from start to finish I’m really struggling with everything I can’t look forward I have no interest in anything I feel guilty if I smile I feel guilty because I don’t live near where she is buried the despair is overwhelming I try and get days out but then the guilt overtakes me and I’m in floods of tears. I just don’t know how to cope someday s but coming on here has helped a little bit. Take care. Shellyanne XX