How to deal with death of Mum and much loved pet.

My mum passed away 2 weeks ago, it was rather unexpected although she had been on a decline for a while. Mum lived 8 hours drive away and was under the care of a nursing home with my 2 brothers living nearby, who kept me and my 2 sisters informed of goings on. Mum had contracted a chest infection about 2 months ago which was the start of her decline, and after a GP visit where she refused any (more) medical intervention, my brother’s called and said we should get up and see Mum sooner rather than later. My sister’s and I booked a flight the next morning and were lucky enough to spend 4 days with Mum, who died 2 days later, on my son’s birthday. The day before the funeral we were due to drive up to Scotland for the funeral, but my cat who had been being treated for a kidney problem for about 2 months, went downhill so rapidly overnight that we took him to the vet before we set off on the long drive. The vet said there was nothing more she could do and we agreed to put the cat to sleep there and then. He was 10 and we’d had him for 5 years. Since coming home after mum’s funeral (2 days ago) I can’t stop crying. I am grieving for my mum but I miss my cat so much, the house is so empty without him. I’m confused and guilty and so hurt. It’s like a knife in my heart for this double whammy, and trying to hold it together for my son who is devastated at losing his Nana and his best friend, our beautiful boy, Jake the cat.

Hello Suzy,

Firstly I was so sorry to read about your Mum but great you got to spend some time with her. Those four days must have been very precious for both you and your sister plus of course your Mum. It is hard to lose a pet at any time but especially so now. You did the right thing for him though. I looked after my Mum’s elderly cat for four months after she passed away and it brought all the terrible feelings back when he was put to sleep.

I think about them both constantly still and find I am numb with sadness some days. I can offer no real advice but you have lots of people on here always happy to respond to posts.

Take care

Thank you for your reply Mel, and I’m sorry for your loss too. I’m due back at work on Tuesday, please god I can hold it together. Every time I go out I become anxious and just want to cry. Being bipolar doesn’t help either. I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone, not even my other half, he’s being very good, but i just want to be alone.

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