I’m so sorry for your loss. Life can be so cruel. I lost my partner of 28 years, very suddenly, 1 minute he was there healthy then next gone. I was 48, that was almost 4 years ago now. It’s still hard. Those first weeks and months i was in a bubble everything was moving forward around me and i was stuck, angry at first for such a good hard working man to be taken, and our future and plans robbed. Since then i’ve occupied myself doing things that give me happiness, got a new pet, all this helps, and of course being around good family and friends. There will always be birthdays and anniversaries, they are so sad. But i know he would want me to make the most of life, as we know 1st hand it can be snatched away. Take care of yourself and in time surround yourself with things that make you happy x
My deepest sympathy for the loss of Paul Jan. This page reflects how very deeply we all loved our hustands. I too am grateful that this site, and others, exist. I agree that losing a parent, a sibling or even a young child cannot compare to partner loss. If the mourner has a partner, they will be around to support someone who has lost someone who has lost a mother or father, sister or brother, and even child loss is shared by the other parent. Partner loss, however, is a real killer, as it is the one person who has stood by you in life, and shared all other troubles and griefs who is now missing, gone forever. Thank you, everyone, for just being here. It really makes a difference.
I’m so sorry, you must be devastated and still in shock. Everything you feel is normal when you’re grieving. It sounds like a cliché but it really is one day at a time. My partner passed suddenly 6 months ago. The sense of loss is indescribable. You don’t have to decide what to do with your partner’s clothes unless you have to leave your home. That’s something for the future. Personally I found I couldn’t think straight, my thoughts were in overdrive and I really couldn’t trust my judgement. Thankfully that has subsided now but I still get overwhelmed easily. Be good to yourself, eat properly, keep posting on this site , it really does help to communicate with people who have gone down the grief path.
Sorry about the error. I understand now that you loss Paul in January. My brain seems to be befuddled with grief at the moment. Also the sentence in the middle of my contribution should read, “If the mourner has a partner, they will be around to support them if they have lost a mother or father, sister or brother, and even child loss is shared by the other parent”. Again, I’m very sorry about these errors. I hope that you understand.
Hi @Redveg please no need to worry. I knew what you meant and we are all befuddled at the moment. actually what you said offers a different view on things and can agree (apart from for me the loss of a child must be the ultimate horror and I had a real fear of it when my kids were little). Yes we are muddling through alone and sometimes making it up as we go along. The decisions and choices are exhausting. I have tried to ask where I can even the most basic stuff sometimes and have found that a few people around me have been absolute gems (not always the ones you expect). no worries at all and keep posting. we are here for you x
I am so sorry to hear all of your losses. This reply that Beverley has posted has really resonated with me with everything that she has said.
I lost my dad in August 2022. I was extremely close to him and he was my anchor. My grief for him did not hit me until June 2024 and I have never experienced anything so painful. My emotions were so overwhelming that I felt that I couldn’t breathe, I completely lost my appetite and my sleep was non existent.
I felt that as soon as I started bereavement counselling my journey began with me navigating my grief. I to journalled before bed but instead my journalling was me writing letters to my dad. When I returned to work I had plenty of moments where I could not control my emotions and I just had to take myself off to cry and I mean sobbing.
Please just take each day as it comes and like others have said please do alot of self-care and be kind to yourself. Also, keep talking like you have done on this forum.
Hello leecol, so sorry for your loss, we all feel your pain and loneliness, I too lost my husband 5 weeks ago, and I feel completely lost, he was my best friend, we told each other everything, and we do have grown children and they’ve been a great support but there is no one like your spouse. I miss him deeply
