Hurting 6 months after losing mum

I needed to come on here to chat to anyone that feels the same.
After losing mum 6 months ago to pancreatic cancer 4 weeks after being diagnosed I thought I was able to deal and cope with my emotions and I had got on top of them.
Just recently though I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom again and can’t stop re thinking about everything that happened and wishing she was still here, everyday has been a struggle since she passed away and at the moment I feel I want to just get away from everything and everyone and have space it hurts that much. X

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Hi Samantha86

Thank you so much for sharing this with the community :blue_heart: I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.

Take good care,

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Hi Samantha

I feel the same way as you. I lost my dad 5 months ago and thought I was coping but wow all of a sudden it has all just hit me. I am in tears as I am writing this not just for myself but for everyone who is going through the same thing. I don’t want to be around anyone and just wish that my dad and mam were still here. I too am finding every day a struggle. You are not alone in your feelings. Take care


I know how you feel, I just keep crying out of no where and the feeling is so painful. Remember to you’re not alone either and we are all here for each other. Stay strong xx

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Hi Samantha firstly I want to say how very sorry I am for your loss, There are no words I can say that will ease your pain as you well know. What I can share with you is that I have a very similar story to you. I lost my precious Mum in April 2022 to pancreatic cancer, only three weeks after diagnosis. Eight weeks later my dear Dad died due to pneumonia. It has been the worst year of my life.
Please think of me when you are struggling and take comfort if you can that you’re not alone in feeling this excruciating pain. Sending you my love. F.x


Thank you Fifi, I am so sorry too on the loss of your mum and dad. To lose them so quickly makes it harder to process at times to I find. I’m always going through everything in my mind like it’s not real.
We are always here for you to and don’t forget you’re not alone as well, when ever you need to talk I’m here. x


Hi Samantha,

I’m so sorry for your loss, I feel your pain. Our stories are quite similar, I lost my mum at the end of March to pancreatic cancer less than 4 weeks after diagnosis. I also lost my dad in January 2021 to Covid.

It has been 4 months since I lost my mum and, although the initial shock has maybe eased a little, I still feel overwhelmed with grief most of the time. I can’t ever envisage a time when I have come to terms with what has happened and have learned to live with it.

It is so very painful to lose our parents and it’s something I couldn’t even bring myself to think about before it happened.

Please know that you are not alone and that everyone on this site understands how you feel as they have all lost loved ones.

Sending you love and strength x


Hi Samantha
I’m sorry to hear about your journey with your Mum. Sometimes I think when things are very traumatic (a quick diagnosis and departure) it can stay etched in your brain. Have you considering therapy at all?
I sadly lost my Maternal grandmother on Wednesday, she lived a long life until 93 but the last year suffered from her heart failure and declined very slowly. She was quite literally my second mother and in many ways I was closer to her than my own mum. I last saw her on Tuesday, she was barely eating and still saying a few words and drinking a little tea. I thought she may still have a few days left. 5am on Wednesday the phone rang to say she’d gone and all I have thought about since is her passing and hoping she was okay.
I’ve just sought out a therapist to see next week because I already feel so daunted at the loss of her in my life. I spoke to or saw her every few days for 35 years. She was a best friend too.
Thinking of everyone on this thread.


I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your Grandma Ems.
I have had some counselling but ended up finishing as I felt I had managed to kind of find ways to help myself, I have generally felt ok but then it’s hit out of no where again which I have heard can happen and it’s painful.
I hope your therapy goes well for you and if you ever need a chat we are here to. Try and let go if you ever find yourself needing to cry etc, I think that’s one thing I struggle with at times. xx

Thank you Samantha. I believe that yes letting the feelings out is key. I have cried so much the last few days. My Mum has turned to manic productivity whereas I can’t even bring myself to go to tesco food shopping. It’s funny how different people react.

Is your previous therapist someone you could re-engage with for a few sessions?

Has anyone ever read any good grief books? I have been looking on Amazon this evening.

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You’re right there, everyone is different and goes through different stages at different times. Me and my brother are completely opposite.
I can go back to the counselling if I need to, I had mine through cancer care and they said I can start back anytime, which is good.
I did find a little book called an introduction in coping with grief, I haven’t managed to read it yet tho so not sure what it is like. x