Hurts so much

July 1st I was with mum and my daughter as my dad passed away from cancer. It broke my heart. My husband John helped mum as much as he could with dad’s care whilst having tests himself for cancer. We never told anyone as we wanted to think positive and not put our worries onto the rest of the family.

My husband was told we think you have cancer but will do biopsies which he had several all negative but he was sent for another PET scan to see what was making him cough up blood. The results were back … My lovely husband not only had cancer everywhere he only had a short time to live. He passed away 3.5 weeks later. I could not and still cannot believe how quickly he went from being healthy guy caring for me to been so ill. He went into Barnsley Hospice for pain relief (they said be on about a week) he deteriated so fast the doctors let me move into the hospice for the last 4 days of his life. I promised him I would stay with him till the end and I was there holding his hand as he passed away :broken_heart:
Its 2 weeks today. Christmas Day was so hard losing dad and my husband with 6 months :cry:


The grief you are suffering must be unbearable and I am so sorry you are having to go through it. It is such early days for you and I hope you will find support from this site. Just take each day as it comes and remember that everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time.

My husband, Ian, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly 27 weeks ago now, only 7 weeks after diagnosis, but it still feels like yesterday. Like your husband, Ian appeared fit and healthy and then out of the blue, our whole world was shattered. He had no symptoms apart from a strange feeling in his stomach. I am still struggling to come to terms with what happened and maybe always will.

Look after yourself

X Julie



So sorry to hear of your double loss. My partner of 21 years was misdiagnosed and he was eventually diagnosed with cancer 13/8, he was operable and on 13/10 was declared palliative, we married in hospital on 16/10 and returned home the following week. He was told he would be here for Christmas but passed on 8/11. I have been numb ever since and can’t come to terms with what has happened. He was extremely fit, in September he was putting up CCTV in our sons house and fitting a TV on our bedroom wall so he could stay in bed if he had side effects from the chemo which was due to start 22/9. The day before he ended up with pneumonia but this cleared and unfortunately suffered a malignant pleural effusion which is when he was deemed as palliative. I drained the fluid from his chest every night for those 3 weeks and held his hand until he took his last breathe then lay with him for 4 hours until day light was approaching and the funeral director had to be called. I didn’t celebrate Christmas instead I walked along the sea front, a place we both enjoyed, just so I could be close to Gary. Grief effects people in different ways and I say do what you feel is right not what people expect of you.