Husband died of cancer

Hi, my husband died 4 weeks ago. 6 weeks after he was diagnosed with cancer. We have a 10 year old son. Feeling so lost and alone. I have good friends and family and am keeping going for my son. Sometimes I am ok but the shock, disbelief and pain of what has happened hits me like a wave and I can’t breath. Feeling guilt too, that I am still alive and he died at 53. Is there any advice please?

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I’m so sorry you have had to join this group but you are in the right place for support. 4 weeks is so early and all I remember is the raw pain and how all consuming it was. I’m nearly 6 months in now and life gets easier and lighter. The pain has dulled and the tears have dried. It’s not all consuming.

Take it easy and take all the help you can get. Take it hour by hour, day by day and try not to focus on the future and what’s gone as that’s really hard too.

My partner was 49 and he had a cardiac arrest while out cycling with his friends, died instantly.

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Hi so sorry for your loss , my husband was 58 and I too feel guilty I’m the one alive , when I’m with my grandkids feel so guilty that I’m will see the adults they become and he won’t

Thank you Ali29. Its comforting to hear it won’t always be so all consuming.

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Rugby, I feel the same about mu husband not seeing our son grow up. Also feel guilty for strange things like buying myself some clothes today.

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@Flamingo21 I am truly sorry to your read of your loss, most people in this group will absolutely understand how you feel and will empathise. How you’re feeling is exactly how we’ve all felt when finding ourselves in a similar situation. It’s perfectly natural to experience the emotions you describe.
The sense of loss, regret, anger, feeling overwhelmed, lonely and of being alone. Having to make decisions for yourself and your son that once you shared with your husband.
Personally, I’m not feeling ‘time is a great healer’ but certainly, the pain lessens.
Advice? I’m not sure I can give much, you’re clearly there for your son and that’s important; I lost my father when I was 7, now sixty five years ago. My wife, a lot more recently.
Treat, every emotion as perfectly normal, however you feel is typical, you’re not alone. Live day by day. If people ask you how you are, don’t be afraid to tell them, you don’t have to pretend everything’s ok, when it clearly isn’t.
Your sleep patterns will be upset, you will likely suffer a loss of appetite, you may lack energy and concentration, don’t worry, these will come back as the trauma wanes. The pain of your loss will, I feel never completely fade but will lessen.
I wish you comfort in your grief.

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Thank you. Im sorry for your loss. I appreciate your advice.

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Hi Flamingo21 it’s such early days for you. You will feel every emotion imaginable just go with them and ride through them it’s all part of the grief. I’m 15 weeks in from losing my husband days are getting easier but the evenings are so difficult. Take it hour by hour and take care of yourself x

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