Husband passed away 4 weeks ago

And although I think I’m doing ok I am
not doing so well late at night and in the early hours. My mother in law with whom I had a close relationship with has not coped well and does not to see me. As all of my family are in Australia I feel more alone even though my work and friends here in the U K have been very kind. Does anyone have any tips for me ?

Hello Oakey
I am sorry for your loss you can always talk on here people alway have good advise. You say your mother in law is not coping and want see you have you tried ringing her just to talk to her as greif is different to us all it is as unique as a fingerprint. We push away our loved ones so that they cannot see our pain and that we don’t want to bother them. Sending much love xxx

Hello @Oakey,

I’m so sorry to hear about the very recent loss of your husband. It sounds as though things are really difficult for you now particularly in the evenings and at night and you are feeling incredibly lonely without your husband.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I wanted to share a few resources with you that may help you right now.

Take care - keep reaching out,


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Hi Oakley,
I too have lost my beloved husband but for me the nightmare was 12 weeks ago. Again like you, I hate being alone at night, locking up and putting the lights out, something that was ‘his’ job. I don’t sleep much and I look as if I don’t !
I wish I could wave a magic wand for you so the hurt goes away but I can’t and I am afraid it doesn’t go away.
What is helping me, at the moment at least, is thinking what he would want. He certainly wouldn’t want me crying as much as I do, or thinking I can’t go on without him. We owe it to our lovely men to make them proud of us by now making a new life for ourselves. It’s going to be hard and not sure I can do it but I’m trying ………
Good luck and a big hug to you x


Thank you for replying. It’s nice to know we are not on our own . My mother in law was so rude and horrid the day after the funeral I cannot bring myself to try and speak to her right now now . This might ease off I don’t know yet. I had agreed my husband ashes to go in with his brother that passed 15 years ago but I’ve also put that on hold at the moment so I am waiting to see if any change over the next few weeks.

Thankyou for your kind words and I hope you are slowly feeling slightly better. It’s comforting but also weird knowing there are so many of us going through the same process . Having lost my parents very young and over the years 3 siblings this is the most devastating of all . It is honestly so bloody hard to get through each day xx

Hi jemmie i lost hubs a month ago yes total void lifes stopped no interest and sobs if i stop keeping busy. He was only 56 and im widowed now only 56 . No plans nothing now . Im glad this forum is here x