My husband had cancer and passed 3 months ago, I thought I was dealing well with it but now I have a constant lump in my throat that I want to cry all the time, I try to put on a happy face for the grandkids but my heart is breaking.
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@Sanj Hello and welcome to the forum, so sorry that you find yourself here, and so sorry to hear of the passing of you r husband. My wife passed away 9 months ago from cancer, it was not a pleasant experience to witness and be involved in. You must be feeling very raw and overwhelmed still. At 4 months or so I felt that I had been coping as well as could be hoped, then I feel that the shock finally wore off and I felt emotionally back to square one. It was hard and a struggle but it will move away again. I can’t make things any better for you but I do understand, take your time, be patient with the emotions you are experiencing, you will find things easier to carry along with you but it takes time. All of the people on here can very much relate to how you feel and what you are experiencing. I’ve found it incredibly beneficial to post about things on here. I hope you do to. Keep posting
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It’s coming up to 3 months for me too. I had a patch where I thought I was doing well but like you I am now very teary again. Just have to let the emotions flow and work through it. I haven’t anyone to put on a brave face for so when I feel like crying I cry. Xx.
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I think we almost go into autopilot when we loose someone so close. I know in my case I seemed to have so much to sort out! Even 5 months later I think I’m doing ok the wham I’m back to square one! This is a difficult road we find ourselves on and I for one was not ready thinking we had many more years of togetherness left!
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I thought I would be the first to go. He had atrial fibrillation but it had been under control for years. I was the one with mobility problems. In the end it wasn’t his heart. It was the dreaded cancer. We didn’t even know about that for long. Diagnosed on 26 th may. Died 6th June. I am having a really teary day today.
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I still cry everyday but it’s no where near as intense and it could just be a memory triggered then I’m ok again. Hope today doesn’t get too bad for you.
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I’m sorry you’re in this club but it is a supportive one. 3 months is still very early days, as is my 7 months but it does get easier. I do have good days mixed in now which is nice. I’m able to enjoy things without guilt and I accept he’s not coming home. I do however have some significant dates coming up each month now until the anniversary of his death in January. I’ll keep posting and see how I do.
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You’re right cancers a horrible decease to watch a loved one go through and for the rest of us to cope with too.
I’m sorry you’ve lost a loved one to this too. And I think you’re spot on when you say it’s raw, you go into a kind of overdrive and do what you’ve got to do until you don’t and have time to stop and think.
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As he was only 66 I feel hard done by too. This wasn’t the retirement we’d imagined. Those thoughts make me feel guilty and selfish then. It’s hard
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Yes it’s when you stop and think that it all comes through, I have to tryand let it happen and I’ve found it does get easier, less overwhelming the more I just experience the tears and grief. Takes time but not so raw now. It’s just very hard work
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@Sanj sorry for your loss and welcome to this forum. My husband also had cancer and it was a traumatic experience to watch him suffer. 21 weeks for me and I am struggling. Like @Walan I felt I was improving but around the 4 month mark I started to really struggle again. It’s a different struggle, not so raw but a deep rooted gnawing loneliness. Chatting on here has helped a lot. Hopefully helps you too.
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