I lost my husband 7 years ago .l miss him all the time . l have a great hole in my life without him . l carnt seem to exept hes not hear anymore . l feel all alone and empty. Ive locked myself away from everyone . lm just exsisting lm just empty inside
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@Brighteyes . Hi . I’m sorry you still feel this way after 7 years . It’s two and half years since my husband died , I know what you mean about the emptiness , and just existing . I put on an act with my adult kids and work . So they all think I’m coping , but really I feel like I’m in my own grief bubble , and I can’t burst out of it , nothing makes me happy , yes I smile and even laugh sometimes , but I know my smile doesn’t reach my eyes , and if I laugh , I then feel guilty , silly really because I know my husband wouldn’t want me to feel like this , I hope you find some help on this site like I have , I can be the ME that I am now , and can put my true feelings down . And know that others understand xtake carex
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Im pleased theres someone else who feels like me .everything you say is the way l am. I make people believe lm ok.I feel lm punishing myself for my lose my husband would be upset he wouldnt wont me to feel like this .
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Dear @Brighteyes.
I’m so sorry, just like @Broken2222 says I know how you feel.
It’s just over 18 months for me now. Counselling be 18 days .
I still don’t really believe it’s true
@Broken2222 so much of how you write is exactly the same for me …
I put an act everyday, cos I go to work and go out with my dogs people think I’m coping… I’m not really … Just going through the motions.
I too miss being happy, and I miss when my smile was real.
I’m a different person too, I often think everyone around me is waiting for me to be my old self. But I will never be that person again.
And I do agree that this site is the place where I can be the new me, say what I want with no judgements, or exasperated faces, or ‘what still’ looks .
So @Brighteyes like @Broken2222 I hope you find some solace in this forum.
Love, hugs and strength for the day.
I’m just painting that smile on my face to leave the house and go to work 
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- could be 18 days!
Not counselling… Haven’t been able to access that cos of working . But that’s another story!!!
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Like you l will never be the same lm an empty shell going through the motions. I have my dog l give him all my attention. I have a son and he cares but he get upset when he comes home so l dont see him alot .
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