Exactly the same feeling I am very bitter. Andy and I did nothing to deserve our futures being ripped away from us. My in laws says wherever we were it was going to happen. Destiny? At this young age? Whatever I say or cry nothing will bring him back. I was always grateful having a such a good husband and son. My main priority is now my son. I am really grateful having him. I have to get better for him as if I was dead and he was alive I know that very well he would never let me down. He will look after son well even in unbearable pain x

Hi my name is Chris I know and sympathise with what you are going through
My husband passed away in January this year. It was the most horific death I have experienced and its taken till now to get through it
I have no friends as such now I have retired
His birthday was on father’s day so that was a tuff day for me
I talk to him and tell him off, but I know he will never answer, but it helps me
I do feel for you and do try and think positive and what ms-msa://code=M65e25d05-27cf-4af7-ca2f-2ab91e01da61&uaid=DEB83BC939ED4D60B348FD48086F9161&expires=0 h

Hiya Krissey,
My Husband died in February and it really has hit me now,at the time arranging everthing I think I was in remote control, now so much time alone and just thinking.
Cannot think he is never coming back,had so many times in Hospital I think that is where he is except I don’t visit.
Well we just have to get through it no jumping over it or under it just got to go through go through that tunnel.
Take Care .

I don’t like to say this but my desperate post for help has been taken over by others who don’t even mention me and my pain. Perhaps you might think before you post on someone else attempt to express their grief. There has just been one or maybe two posts that have tried to help and I truly thank them. You need to give people space. I am truly sorry for your tragic loss but I do truly wish for some comfort for mine. John has been dead for less than 4 weeks. Johnswife


Unfortunately every one of us on this site has suffered the life changing loss of someone intrinsic to their very existence. We are all struggling to make sense of the life we have been left with. the need to tell our own stories is a way of sorting our chaotic thoughts and also an attempt to emphasize with others who look for comfort when grieving.
All the posts develop into a sequence of responses from numerous contributors and there is never an intention to take over a particular post. No-one deliberately goes off topic - sometimes it just happens as one post follows another. None of us seeks to ignore someone’s else’s pain - it might mistakenly happen when we’re so overwhelmed with our own but it’s never intentional.
Perhaps try starting a new thread or using the private message system.
We really are all in the same boat all seeking/offering comfort.


Hi Johnswife,

I am sorry about all the pain you are suffering. It must be so difficult.

Sometimes when a person first posts about their bereavement, they only get one reply. When I posted about my dad, I was quite sad at how few responses I got. You have had fifteen people reply directly to you, so you have had quite a good response.

It’s the nature of this forum that people reply with their own experiences, and so sometimes others might respond to someone else who was talking about their grief, instead of responding to the person who wrote the first post. Please do not be offended by this, what often happens is that people start a new post after a few days expressing their suffering, as people are more likely to respond directly to you about your suffering in a new post than they are in a post where lots of discussions are now happening.

Hope today is a better day for you.


hi Johnswife
sadly were on a site were weve all lost a loved one,be that your mum dad brother sister
daughter son wife husband etc etc etc.for this moment in our lives,we believe nothing is worse than the emotional turmoil we are having to deal with.
and though there are many members on this site who when replying put their own losses to one side and hold out a hand to comfort newbies and people desperately seeking comfort help or advice.there are still many more that feel every post needs to be told their story their loss and though they feel its helping the person whose started the thread.some times its not it just diverts the topic to them and can upset and hurt and at times drive newbies away.
and ive had verdal attacks for pointing out this fact,seems some feel its the best help in the world saying sorry for your loss then opening up about their own losses and in essence changing the topic.
there are plenty of threads on this very helpful site were a group of people chat amongst each other and talk about how their days is going,and we all have the option to write our own threads when its how losses we want to go into detail about to show the world how much emotional turmoil we are going through.
and at times more isnt better,i tend leave threads alone were they have had a few nice replies showing comfort and stating how they have managed to get to were they are now,whether thats working helping others going for walks etc etc,we each will find our own way of coping.and some will struggle for months years etc its the nature of the beast.im far from coping myself,but I dont find the need to tell every one on every new post what im dealing with and my emotional turmoil.and it is hard not to bring it up.but I make a great effort in trying respond to posts and make it about that individual.if anyone of those haters of me want please send private message to have a go at my opinions on this topic.or do something separate and say how much of a nasty uncaring piece of work I am,nothing anyone cam say to me will ever make me hurt any more than I do.
there thats my 2 cents.
and Johnswife im sorry your post as been turned into something other than giving you comfort and help.
take care


Ian thank you for the support and I totally agree that some people might take a step back and use just their own posts rather than dominating others. I have found some help here and will continue to read the posts that help and ignore the others. People need to be kind and I am so sorry you have received negativity for speaking out. Chris


If you wish to speak directly with others it would be kind if you did so on your own post away from mine. Thank you.


Wow such a supportive site.

I don’t think any of us were aware that any single post was not for general exchange of experiences. That is surely how we all gain help from each other. Sometimes the conversation becomes more light hearted but that might be of help to someone. sometimes people post spontaneously for all sorts of reasons and it seems unkind to exclude anyone from a conversation. Everyone’s grief is unique to themselves but equally painful. We don’t always get it right and certainly none of us has all the answers but we do try. Telling one’s own story isn’t usually an attempt to overshadow someone else but merely an attempt to establish common ground and hopefully an empathetic ear. I have never been offended by anyone joining in a post I have started as it is an open forum.
Your experience of losing your husband is very sad indeed and I think if you ask for support you will undoubtedly find it. What helps one person may not help another but none of us are experts. we’re all just grieving.


When you are the administrator of this site tell me what to do otherwise would appreciate you accept we can answer any thread and if I have broken site rules sure I,will be told
Take Care


Well posted.

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Hi samella how are you, well said x

If I am not mistaken the title of this thread is ’ I am broken hearted’ and everyone who has posted on here is exactly that, so not really a case of going off topic :thinking:


I am OK just a bit upset that,somebody can be so,offensive and hurt when we are all grieving.
I will wait and see from the powers that be say that I have broken site rules
Thankyou for your response.
Take Care

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Jay, we will follow you on another thread where you can talk about Allison as much and as often as you need. I am sorry you are in tears but I understand why. X

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Samella, you have not broken any rules don’t get upset. This site/ thread is not exclusive to anyone so you are entitled to post whatever you want :wink:


Thankyou very much for your reply much appreciated, we don’t need upsets on here we are all grieving.
Take Care


We’re all grieving together, love to all x