I am feeling sad

Hi everybody, my wife died 22nd December 2015 aged 73. My two brothers died in the last 18 months, all in all I have lost my family circle. I have two step-daughters --one of whom I am close to. She has her own busy life -so obviously I don’t pester her ,I visit her twice a week for an hour or so.That is the only family contact I have got left, which leaves me very lonely .I used to phone my two brothers every week sadly that has gone.I miss my wife very much she was also my best friend. I am really struggling to move on,I go out every day Either in my car -or on the bus, but it is so sad going out on my own.I am constantly feeling tearful --I have pictures of my wife around my flat - photos of her when she was younger, and I cannot believe or accept that she has gone from me.I visit her grave once a week and place flowers, Also my brothers grave about 20 miles away.I am dreading xmas ,as I will be alone,I will visit my step- daughter for an hour on xmas day then back to my flat It has helped me writing this and explaining how I feel to this community, I am so sorry for my negativity best wishes to you all Alan

Hello Alan

I was very sad to read about your bereavements and to know and understand how you feel. I lost my only two brothers years ago but recently 3 months ago I lost my only son David. I feel like you do, lost and numb. I can’t even think of Xmas this year…suffering denial and now anger but I believe, as I have been told, is the usual 5 steps for bereavement. Everyone thinks I should be over it now and find it hard to talk at great length. I do understand it must be impossible to walk in our shoes when one hasn’t been there.
I wish you all the best and this site is very comforting which I was lucky to find.
Janice