I am not coping at all with my loss

I lost my husband a year ago after he was admitted to hospital and within a week put on end of life care, within few days he was gone. My best friend of over 50 years was with me supporting me all through his loss . Unfortunately a month after losing him my friend was involved in a freak accident and she too was placed on end of life care. I was only just starting to come to terms with the loss of 2 important people in my life when my sister too was admitted to hospital and placed once again on end of life care at the same time as we learned my other sister’s husband was given a couple of weeks to live he passed 2 days after my sister . I am just not coping at all with losing them all in the last year . My children have been really good and the grandchildren all 12 of them and I think without them I would have given up before now , but I just seem to be sinking into a very deep black hole that no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to climb out of .

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@mazza51 I am so so sorry for your losses. I don’t know how to comfort you as I am all new to this grieving journey. My mum passed away on 30th April and 3 days after her funeral, my dad passed away (end of life care) so I have lost both parents within a month. I am also sinking into a deep dark place. You’re not alone…many on this site are walking very painful journeys too and are just trying to navigate through hour by hour.
Please keep sharing your thoughts & emotions (I find that it helps to spill to strangers sometimes) …we’re all here to support one another. Big hugs to you xx

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It just doesn’t seem to get any easier does it, people seem to think you get over a loss in a few months and it get easier with time, but I’m sorry it doesn’t I just feel it gets harder. I’m so sorry to hear your sad news, it doesn’t seem fair to lose them both at once , and I suppose we don’t realise that there are others going through the same thing because the grief makes us isolate ourselves , that’s probably my problem. But since being a child I never have let people in and the few I have are now gone . I lost my parents years ago and because I had younger siblings I felt the need to be strong for them , didn’t really do myself any favours there either . But it’s nice to find I can share my feelings on here , maybe because there’s no-one saying I should pull myself together it’s been long enough. If they only knew , Lets try and ease ourselves out of that darkness together I’m sure given time and talking we can help each other big hugs back to you xx

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@mazza51 I completely identify with you. I was very angry the last couple of weeks, angry with society’s unrealistic expectations of how I should be feeling and the time frames. I’ve always believed (even from a young age) that there’s no expiration date on grieving…how can there be? The loss is for life, so the grief is also for life. I do believe that there’s a way to rebuild and adapt our lives around the grief but at this moment in time, I have no idea where I’m going. I feel like I’m changing but for better or worse, I don’t know.
I can assure you that I will never say things like ‘pull yourself together’ or all the other cliché things that people say. In my humble opinion, it is what it is and if you & I feel pain and in a dark hole, we shouldn’t be ashamed or feel like we need to lie and say we’re ok just to make others feel less uncomfortable. You have my 100% support, however you feel, for however long xx

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