I can only live in the past

Why can I only live in the past. My darling husband died in August and I can’t get over losing him. I keep thinking of him and the things we did together. I see no future without him in it. I’m not eating or sleeping much. every minute I’m awake my mind is thinking of jim I’m put up pictures and light candles and sit in dark just thinking of my past life never going forward just what’s been. Is this normal or am I going crazy. Doctors giving me antidepressants but I feel if I take them I will forget jim and I can’t do that. My life’s a mess the day he died keeps going round in my head and I cry all the time. This is like torture and I hate it really hate it I wish I could just get off the roundabout of life and be with Jim I’m sure he’s waiting for me.


Dear Misprint

Further on this journey but understand and still live only in the past. I cannot look forward, our plans can no longer be fulfilled. I only live in the day that I wake to and make a decision if I can get out of bed.

I believe my husband is waiting for me, I have to believe. My faith prevents me from doing anything but wait until my name is called. We also have two (adult) kids and two little grandsons. Each day I see the pain etched on our son and daughter’s faces at the loss of their dad - I cannot be responsible for causing them further pain.

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I too lost my husband in august and live the same life as you but I think we shouldn’t be hard on ourselves, our loss is monumental and it’s stripped away everything we knew to be our life, thrust into a position we did not choose and having to reform and adjust it’s only short months and although it’s painful I love reliving moments in our life together and I think this is quite normal, my gp offered me antidepressants too but all it does is temporarily dull the pain we still have to face the reality at some point, today has been a bad day for me and Xmas is really affecting me I think it’s the sentimentality but it’s to be expected because we loved our husbands so much thinking of you and everyone else at such a sad time xx

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