Everyday is just rinse and repeat. My new normal is two bottles of wine and sleep on our sofa. Haven’t slept in our bed , that’s where it all happened. My brother is being so wonderful, but he had said today is the last day drinking alcohol; he’s on his way to pick up my baby’s ashes… love to all who find themselves on this site… my heart breaks for us all… much love Dottie x❤️
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My heart breaks for you Dottie 
my long term partner died suddenly and unexpectedly over 5 months ago. It traumatised me. I’m still traumatised. Finding him dead, seeing him at the funeral directors, and picking up some of his ashes (that is another story!). and I can’t accept he is dead. My thoughts are riddled with guilt and regret 24/7, and whether to die or live, as sad as it is. It hasn’t helped that I’m pretty isolated. I have no close family and most friends “disappeared” after the funeral. I do so hope you have the support of friends and family. Sending you a massive heartfelt hug x
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I am so sorry for your loss… 
…please, you are not alone, contact me anytime, it’s awful we have been thrown into this horrible nightmare… my heart breaks for you too… much love Dottie x:heart:
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Oh my dear @Dottie72 I know we all grieve in different ways but please don’t take to the bottle it won’t help long term and it could even cause you more problems, I know I’ve been there many years ago when I lost the most marvellous father-in-law anyone could wish for, I feel your pain but lean on your brother more, I don’t know where you live but here in UK we do have a wonderful Grief Support network who visit on a regular basis at home, and in between those visits they are just a phone call away, they have helped me a lot even when all I did was cry while they were here, please reach out more, I hate to think of you suffering so much, I only lost my hubby in April 2 days after our 46th anniversary, I still have nightmares about his last day, just to think of it still make me cry a lot, in fact I’ve just had 3 really bad days that felt would never end, but I knew it would ease eventually, please take care of yourself, sending much love and hugs.xxxxxxxxxxx
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Thank you for your lovely response. I am finding myself sleeping some days until 6pm. Still on the sofa and just feel no point in getting up. On a positive note, I’m going back to work on the 26th of this month, part-time initially. I need some structure back in my life; as I work from home, I can go into my office and just focus on that. It’s just so dreadful how we all found ourselves in this living nightmare, sending love x❤️
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I think it would be a good move to get back into work, working from home though wouldn’t work for me I’d need to go out to do it, I am now retired a time I should have been able to spend more quality time with my hubby but that wasn’t meant to be, I have considered trying to find a little part time job but it’s difficult finding something suitable that would fit in with some of my conditions, but early days yet…hope you can find some focus.
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