So on the 2nd of February 2020, me and my 13 year old sister went over to my mums house to grab her school uniform. I rang my mum before setting off to let her know we were coming but she didn’t answer but that wasn’t out of the ordinary, if she missed one of mine or my siblings calls she would always ring back at some point. But she didn’t. We arrived at my mums house and the back door was locked with the key in, and the same with the front door, which wasn’t odd as my mum did that so she didn’t lose the keys, we knocked and knocked and nothing- wasn’t really panicking until the dog jumped up at the window and we saw my mum face down on the living room floor. I didn’t panic my first thought was to get my sister into my next door neighbours house as I was going to ring an ambulance to just be cautious. As the ambulance arrived, with police behind, a gentleman over the road smashed in the back door to gain access as no matter what we did, nothing would budge the lock. I phoned my uncle as he was only round the corner at my grandads. It was confirmed once entry was gained that my mum was gone and had been for a while- I was confused and shocked but didn’t cry, fast forward a month later and on the 29th of March (my mums birthday) i received a phone call that my mums dad and as receiving CPR (he was very very poorly and my mum was his full time carer) and he sadly passed an hour or so later despite everything. I’m sorry for the novel by the way!
Anyway due to covid my mums inquest was pushed back and back and then finally it happened in September and it was a deemed a bleed on the brain due to high blood pressure which was supposed to be monitored by the doctors but due to a failure in there computer system my mum fell through the cracks of there so called ‘red flag’ system. Now me 22, my sister 13 and my brother 30 are left with no mum and a possible negligence case but no idea what to do, where to start.
My point of this is throughout everything, the funeral the inquest, the constant phone calls and arguments to get mums belongings and estate and debts sorted yanno the usual things- I’m alone and i don’t know how to grieve, I can’t cry, I panic and get hot sweats whenever I see blue lights, I won’t go to the doctors, I just don’t know what I’m doing and I need help but have no idea where to go or what to do, I don’t sleep, I haven’t slept properly since February, I won’t go to sleep until 4-5 in the morning and then I’ll sleep all the way through until 3pm as i start work at 4pm and the cycle starts again. I’m sorry again, it’s just easier to type than to talk.
That’s so sad Emily, sorry for your loss under such awful circumstances. Grief takes time & comes in different forms. It sounds like you are in the shock phase which is completely understandable given the circumstances but the next stage will come & the tears will flow.
Lots of love & best wishes
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Hello. I hope you are getting some help. Have you tried the on line counselling?
I understand your lack of trust in your Mum’s GP. Can you approach a different GP? Dr’s are human and they are all different.