Hi, I lost my dad 9 months ago and then my mum passed 4 months later. I planned both the funerals and sorted the estates, probate, currently clearing their house. My older sister lives 2 hours away and who I havent seen in 3 months hasn’t bothered to help so it’s like ive put grieving on hold. But I feel this pressure in my chest like I’m being sat on by an elephant but no crying just complete numbness and control. I want to feel something but I dont know what to try next. My friends have disappeared as the opinion was its conceivable to lose one parent but to lose two was too much for them to help me through so I’m alone.
Stephanie, it took me such a long tine to cry when my mum passed. And i was one of the closest to her when she was sick. I think we go into planning mode, and then organisation mode and then we re so wrapped up in everyone else, we dont get time to consider how we feel…for a while, i thought, i mustnt have cared or loved her like my siblinfs did. But i have come to realize, that i jist didnt have time to deal with ot.
I thought I was a freak for not being able to cry.I thought to myself didn’t I love Rob enough to cry?Then last week,I couldn’t set the alarm.It was screaming at me for 15 minutes.I phoned the emergency engineer and he talked me through it.I just burst into floods of tears and I cried and cried and blamed Rob for never showing me how to set it!The tears will come when you least expect them.
My Dad died nearly 20 years ago. I cried for the first three days then it more or less stopped. I just could cry. It made me feel unwell that I couldn’t cry, but I was still grieving, I think I had a lot of responsibilities were on my shoulders.