I fee like im going backwards

Anyone else feel like they are going backwards with their grieving?
I was doing ok or so I thought but once again im back to constantly breaking down. I wake up feeling sick again and hits me again he is gone
I think it might be because my daughter has opened up a bit more to me she knew alot what was going on and her dad told her not to tell me as i would be mad hurts so much and the fact he never said sorry for what he did not even when he came home from hosp the 1st time it just hurts so much and i just want him back
Dosent help living so far away from my family I feel lost on a daily basis
I am on the counselling list hopefully that will help but all I want to do is cry again it comes in waves but i guess thats grief and thats what it can do x

Hi , I feel like I’m going backwards too. I cry all the time, just don’t want to imagine the future without my husband. We lived for each other after our family grew up & moved away. We didn’t have friends as we were just contented being together. I tried Cruse counselling but it didn’t help, I spent an hour trying to explain why I didn’t want a pet & another session on why I didn’t want to spring clean a room a day.
I feel like a helpless cause with no one undertaking just how lonely & isolating grief is. I don’t know anyone that’s in my situation.

Sorry you feel this way too i just miss him so much despite everything he has done i felt he owed it to me and our daughter to get better (it was alcohohol liver disease) i feel so lost angry hurt sad and these last few days i have just kept breaking down dosent help we are in lockdown and winter and christmas are looming and i know im not the only one feeling like this just having a few bad days again x

I am so sorry for your loss I lost my husband in May and I was doing ok but it is now getting worse I suppose the weather isn’t helping. We had no children
but some wonderful friends who have helped me but I am so jealous that they are all couples and have no idea how it hurts when I see them together it just highlights what I have lost. We were a social couple and now I am a sad woman on my own. This is not what I signed up for . I just want my life to end it has no purpose without the love of my life.

Dear @Fg15, For the last 2 or 3 weeks I too feel as though I’m going backwards. Every night I sit on the edge of our bed and talk to my wife, hoping that she can see and hear everything I say and do. But for the last week, floods of tears come in mid-conversation each night, because I cannot help but only think of what I’ve lost and how much I want to be back at my wife’s side. My eyes are stinging and blurry during the day from crying so much. Last night was yet another night where I couldn’t sleep, watching the hours tick by on my digital clock until the morning light streamed into the bedroom, and I had to drag myself out of bed for yet another day of slow, lonely torture. I feel less able to function on a daily basis compared to several weeks ago. I just feel paralyzed and I hope every night is my last one on this earth.

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Thats how i feel with my partners drinking i dodnt know how bad he had got til it was too late he hid it well and i didnt know half of what was going off im so angry he didnt do anything sooner but when he wanted help was too late in a way i feel cheated the bottle was more important i know its not true and he loved me as i did him but hurts so much and to leave our daughter who is now 12 and he did it round hurts me so much but she will grow up.and hopefully meet someone etc its me im only 37 and think what is there for me now scary and upsets me over 200 miles i moved to be with him 15 years ago and this happens addiction is awful i know he is at peace now but its the ones left behind suffering especially me at the moment x

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