Went into work today from 7.30 until 12.00 on faze return. I work on a ward which has always been busy so i was working straight away which had my mind focused on the task at hand. I felt guilty when i stopped for a coffee for not thinking about him for half and hour, it was a distraction but it came back and bit me on the arse. I cried when i got back to the car to come back to the house because for that half an hour, life was normal.
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Hope your feeling better.
I know doing things during the day distract me but when i get home the quietness hits me and i feel lonely and upset.
It has been 17 weeks since he passed and somedays it feels like yesterday and others like it was long ago. I miss all our routines nightime and spending time 
Now i spend time alone with thoughtâs
Hopefully it will get easier i fo hope so 
Lynne x
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Hi there. Sorry for your loss. Just wanted to say âwell doneâ for getting back into work. As hard as it is, it does bring us a bit of ânormalityâ again. Itâs nice for our brains to stop the âgriefâ, even if it is for a short time. It allows our brains, I believe, to get a bit of relief and to relax, so to speak. I find that when I am constantly busy with work and then start to head home, although the grief begins to come back a little, it is âdrownedâ out quite a lot in my brain because of the focus Iâve had on work, if you know what I mean? Donât feel guilty if you donât think about him for a short while, our minds are constantly on them, we definitely need the break for a short while at least! I know the feeling about coming home though, just brings it all back again. There is no escape right now from it, for me either. Just keep plodding in there. Canât say it gets âbetterâ but we can only try our best. Hugs. xx
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Please donât beat yourself up because for a short period of time you returned to normality. Even for that short period itâs good to give your mind a rest from being grief stricken all the time. My darling John has been gone over two and half years now and most days are ok but there are those which make me feel sad 
back to square one. Iâve come to the conclusion now that this is my life going forward and I just have to deal with it. What I have learnt is itâs not wrong to be happy or close to how I was before we all deserve a break. Iâve been through enough sadness the last a lifetime and the days of feeling guilty for any glimmer of happiness are over.
Much love
Georgina
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Thank you all for your support, i dont feel so alone. 34 years this October coming which i was dreading. I have asked to work that day so they have included that day in my faze back. They all met Colin so we are all sharing this grief together. Its amazing how colleagues can become friends in time of need.
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