I DID lose my Mum (also best friend) in 2018, but had no support to grieve her passing. Since then, my family has turned their backs on me. My daughter, my son, and my husband have all decided to cut ties with me, in the case of my children, blocking all attempts to contact them, from social media to phone calls to actual letters. Written. Handed back. I’m not throwing blame here. It could all be my fault, and I accept that it might be, because I have some serious mental health issues, but losing my husband, son and daughter all at once has thrown me into the worst spiral in all my 63 years of life. I am now alone, wondering what I did wrong, and how I can make things better when I don’t even know what I did. I also lost much more and am now alone, living on minimum benefits, scared of waking up to whatever crisis the day sends me, to add to the number of problems I can’t deal with right now.
Yes, I’ve told them I love them unconditionally. And I do. Yes, I’ve reached out to every helpline offered and had no real help other than “Oh, that must be hard”. I have no friends, and no other family. I am alone, and maybe I deserve it. I’m autistic, and difficult to get on with. But I have so much love that it feels…“Unfair doesn’t cover it”. I still love my kids and my husband. My husband abused me, emotionally for many years, and finally, physically. I just want to be allowed to love someone
so sorry for your pain, is there someone who could help you speak to your children? also have you got support for the abuse you suffered from your partner? if he abused you even though you say you love him perhaps you are better off without him. sending love, and hope you can find some support
Thank you, Soraya. No, I have no-one to speak to that can arrange a mediation between myself and my kids, and no way of speaking to them. I have tried. My husband has left, and I am better off for it, but I am SO lonely as I have absolutely no-one now - no family, spouse or friends. I have never been so isolated in my whole life and, at the age of 63, I’m having to adapt to growing old alone. It is hard, but I’m working on it. Thanks for your support - this is the only support I have - online, and I am very grateful for it xx (PS: NO: I have never been able to talk about the abuse to anyone. Most of the people that know me believe I am the cause of the marriage breakdown)