I had my third counselling session

I have had three counselling sessions now at first I wasn’t sure if it would help this week I found myself looking forward to it whether it’s just because I hear another voice and get to talk to someone or that I’m talking about pauline I do love talking about her she was my life and its truly empty without her the counsellor seems to understand and while talking I started to cry and she said just let it all out let it go but I couldn’t I stopped myself when I’m alone I cry all the time I told her today all I wanna do is sleep because when I’m asleep I don’t feel or think I’m exhausted all the time have no energy I think it might help a little in time it turns out our anniversary falls on a Tuesday which is when I have the grief counselling I will probably need it that day I do feel wiped out after the sessions but I have to keep trying I have to find something that will help me to try to find a way to adjust to this because this is my life now the one thing I do know is that I wouldn’t want my pauline to be going through this pain so I suppose what I’m trying to say is give counselling a try its probably not for everyone but it might help

Thanks for sharing about this, @Casey1 - it’s good to hear you feel understood and think the counselling might help in time.

Take care,

Hi Casey, it’s nice to hear you say that you was looking forward to something, I know from personal experience that counselling can help because you begin to see things differently. I used to cry the whole time I was there and felt totally wiped out when I got back home but I am pleased I did have that support. Grieving takes all your strength and energy so being exhausted is part of this horrible process we have to go through. Please be careful to eat the right things, it’s so easy just to eat anything regardless of what or when and I am afraid to say alcohol is empty calories even if it seems to help. Personal experience again. Keep on with the counselling for along as you, it makes a difference just have to get organised to go.
Look after yourself and stay strong. S xxx

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@MeganP thanks megan

@SusieM thanks Susie it’s over the phone not face to face thankfully I don’t drink I had half a lager shandy after paulines funeral which was the first time I had alcohol in 14 years been wanting to drink and get drunk but I know it’s not the answer so I won’t I’m also going to be seeing someone from the mental health team in august I talk to pauline all the time as if she is still here even though she is not I feel she can hear me and it gives me a little comfort I can’t imagine being here for years without her so I’m hoping that’s not the case but I will do my best for pauline and our babies take care sending hugs and thankyou for replying to me and for the advice x