I hate goodbyes.

We (and now I), have lived in our home from the day Peter carried me over the threshold in 1967
53 wonderful years ago. A couple of our original neighbours are still here, one or two passed away, but the ones that remained decided to downsize as their children fled the nest and they were left in a massive home that once housed a large family. We that are left are all rattling round our homes that are meant for large families but we hate to move because of the area, it is so quiet and tranquil with a park on our doorstep, but the ones that are left, who still have their husbands and wives, are now talking of putting their homes up for sale due to being infirm or finding it difficult to manage their homes and gardens or wanting to sell up and start to travel in their old age.

Today I kissed goodbye to a couple we had known for 40 years as they too are downsizing and I just burst into tears. It is once again the end of an era, before long I will be the last woman standing as I know my next door neighbours of 50 years will also soon be moving as they have found out that there won’t be any grandchildren to look after or stay over due to medical problems of their daughter so want something smaller.
If Peter was still here I would be okay and perhaps we may have also discussed downsizing but the problem is, unless I move to a village, I am not going to get the tranquility I have here, birds singing in my hedges, not a sound to be heard but the occasional car coming and going. The other problem is I can’t drive, where I live now there is a bus stop opposite the park which takes me into town and then from there
I can get a bus anywhere I want to, even to the coast on my free pass.
Why do things have to change, why can’t we all stay young and why do we have to lose the one person who could make it all right again.
Love to all.

It’s horrible Sheila, like you I hate change and want familiarity. I know people move on and quite rightly but you feel like another bit of life as you know it has gone. Where you live sounds perfect for all your requirements and all your happy memories are in your home. I live in a wee coastal village with a poor bus service and Colin used to drive me wherever I wanted to go but since I lost him instead of considering moving I have started driving again after 35 years :scream: I am no Stirling Moss but can go the places I need to go. I feel Colin is in the car with me keeping me right. I also have a wee doggie car seat for my wee Yorkie Daisy which she sits in covering her eyes with her paws when I try to park :joy: it is strange the things you push yourself to do when necessity takes over.
I love your posts about your youth in the 60s and the music and dancing, much better in these days than all this dating online that they go for nowadays :roll_eyes: I love the Searchers & the Hollies, music like that never dates.
Hope you have a good day
V xx

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Dear V,
Thank you for your lovely post.
I have never driven, never wanted to, Peter took me where I wanted to go and my jobs were always in walking distance, 30 minutes from home to work, I was so fit and healthy. Now, even if I could have driven, my eye sight is not as good as it should be, I can see perfectly well but I get corneal ulcers which scars my eyes and there is always a light mist in front of them. Even if my eyesight was good, I have no sense of direction. It is called directional dyslexia. I know where places are but I could not tell anyone how to get there so I get taxis and like I say, luckily there are buses to take me where I need to go. I would love to live in a coastal village, Peter and I talked about retiring there, then we decided we would spend 6 months of the year in Tenerife but it was not to be as Peter started being ill just before he took early retirement.
I hate change, I want everything to stay the same and yes, another bit of our past life has now gone but there are young people moving in with young children so I don’t know how my next door neighbours will take that as they are used to the last 30/40 years living next door to someone who was very quiet on both sides of them. I am lucky, I am the end detached and there is no-one next to me on one side so I hope and pray that my next door neighbours don’t move in the forseeable future.
Yes, there is no romance nowadays, they join dating clubs and swipe left or rate whatever that means. Gone are the days when you went to a dance, a boy asked you to dance and sometimes it lead to dates but that was the excitement of it all. With all these many divorced people out there now, goodness knows what baggage they come with at least we knew the young lads of 17 and 18 were fancy free and still lived at home with their parents. Thank goodness we had a happy marriage, I would have hated to be going out dating again if I was younger . There was only one boy/man for me and really, still is.
Time moves on and I hate it with every breath that I take. I wish I could go back to the 60’s again and do it all again.

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I know Sheila I would never have another man nor would I want one. Colin was my everything and I was lucky to have found him and been loved as I was. Some people never have that so you and I were lucky. Yes sadly romance has gone these days, they meet up and an hour later are ‘doing it’ :roll_eyes: I miss being made to feel like a woman but there is nobody out there who could fill Colin’s boots so I will content myself till I am with him again.
V xx

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thank you for 2 very interesting posts. I have never learned to drive either, I was too nervous in fact Stan gave our car to our daughter, he said he had lost all confidence to driving. I should have realised then that he knew how ill he was. Good for you, V. I too love reading your posts, Sheila. they take me back to my youth, although. I have said this before, I was the baby sitter in the 50’s, I had to get special dispensation if I wanted to go out with Stan. He was brought up by his grandmother and she was a tyrant, up to our getting married he had to be in at 9.30 pm or the door would have been locked. I am not interested in going out, I may have told you that my mobile hairdresser asked me if I would ever go out with a man friend. I was horrified, I told her that if I can’t have Stan, I don’t want anyone. I am too old for that caper. :sleeping: I do agree V that the majority of young people today, believe that sleeping together is all part and parcel on the first date. Not in my book, I waited until I had a wedding ring on my finger. It is cup of tea time for me, so I shall bid you lovely friends farewell, I may be back later.
Mary x


Dear V, I totally agree. It upsets me to see these lovely young women giving themselves away to every Tom, Dick and Harry, It reminds me of a Searchers song in the 60’s, ‘Don’t throw your Love away as you may need it someday’. It is so true. I think this is why marriages and relationships no longer go the distance, no respect for each other. It also makes me so angry when I hear the filth coming out of their mouths. Peter never, ever swore in front of me from the day we met to the day he died, when he was young he worked on the ‘tools’ as an electrician and mixed with builders etc. so I assume he swore then, but I never heard him. Our sons don’t swear in front of me either and if they do slip, they say sorry mum straight away.
That is how I get through the years, thanking God how lucky we have been, 50 years together and loving each other from the beginning, I still love him now, when I look at a photo of him my heart skips a beat, I still get butterflies looking at a photo of him when we were young.

Mary and Sheila sadly that is what is wrong with the world today. No modesty no morals and standards have gone right out the window. Everyone is too selfish nowadays to look out for others like we used to do. Kids get too much and expect more. Solid family units are a thing of the past. No work ethic anymore everyone has become entitled. No fear of the police or teachers, no deterrents. Prison sentences a joke. Feral youths running wild, it all makes my blood boil :rage: The good old days were certainly happier times. I better get off my soap box now ladies before my blood pressure blows my head off :joy: xx

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Dear V
I am just the same, always spouting about the ‘good old days’, we had nothing but my goodness we were happy. Our sons were born in 1970 and 1973 and they didn’t know about computers, tablets, mobile phones, they didn’t have a games room or a TV in their rooms, we all sat together in one room watching the TV, sitting around the table for our meals, talking about our day, helping with their homework, Peter was an absolute whizz at maths and I was good at English. Even now, when I go out for a meal or tea with them, there is a no 'phone policy. I go to a Friendship group and when we have a speaker we are all told to turn our phones off, but there is always some selfish person who doesn’t and it is so disrespectful to the speaker. I also better put my soapbox away.

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Our 2 didn’t have such modern gadgets either, Sheila, we thought we had arrived:rofl: when we had our first telephone installed. Those were the days. x

I remember when we first got our landline, we had to share it with another couple in our street as there wasn’t enough spare lines. It was a nightmare, he was a police officer and never off the phone, it made for some interesting listening though (naughty me).

Who was a naughty girl then? :rofl:
We had our first phone installed in 1967, we had the choice of having a party line or our own. We choose our own line, the reason we had a phone installed was, Stan was very ill, I had to ring the doctor and his work to tell them what was going on. I had to dress 2 small children, one a baby and take them with me to the telephone box. Stan was too ill to care for them in the short time that it took me.

I also remember when we had to call the doctor out for my mum, going down to the red box at the bottom of the hill, I told her to get a phone line in but she refused so we paid for it doing and paid the rental for her as well. She was a pain in the neck with it, never putting it back on the cradle so when we tried to ring her it was engaged all the time so we had to drive to her house an hour away from us, she had moved after dad died but refused to come and live near us, she wanted her independence, when we got there she was out shopping and got really angry when we told her that she had to start ensuring the phone was on the cradle. I wish we had had mobile phones in those days, not for the calls etc. as we were used to phone boxes, but for the photos we could have taken, so many photos of us as teenagers, dressed up to go dancing missed.