Another Sunday is here why does my grief feel more intense on Sundays. I think it’s because it was our day we would have a lie in have breakfast in bed then I’d get dinner and we would snuggle up and watch a dvd. I miss all this and more. Now I struggle to get out of bed it’s cold and empty in the house and the silence is unbearable . I keep asking why did this have to happen was is because I was so happy and that’s not allowed well ok you win I won’t be happy ever again till the day comes when I can be with Jim and we can be together again the tears are coming again rolling down my face.
I have hardly slept had to keep reading my books my mind won’t shut up,now lay in bed can’t drag myself out to face another horrendous heartbreaking day
I can’t carry on like this feeling sick headaches,no energy to do anything the loss of my husband has overwhelmed me
Hi Chris I’m just dragged myself up as dogs need to go out. I seem to go though the daily routine in a zombie state . Will I ever feel normal again I’m so unhappy I can taste it
Hi Misprint, that’s how I feel like a zombie,this is an awful istence so sad all the time,Steve would hate to see me like this he was a happy morning person,oh I miss him so much my heart hurts,I have no motivation to do anything I’m not me anymore
Live is horrendous now don’t think I’ll ever get rid of this pain of grief
Dear Misprint, I know where you’re coming from about Sundays…It is the day of the week that I dread the most and especially this time of the year as lots of couples are out and about getting ready for Christmas which we used to do. My saving grace is that I can drive so just get in the car mid morning and go anywhere which will get rid of a couple of hours or more. Then back to the empty house and what to eat …don’t seem to taste food anymore . It seems just an existence now without my Pete, Keep thinking the New Year may be better!! You are not alone on a Sunday.
Thanks Jenny so many of us in same position.
Take care of yourself xx
I occasionally get in the car and just drive. Running away from the pain of loss probably. Today I went to Helmsley, cried in the car park as I went to leave. Me and husband loved the drive there. We went often before lockdowns and every Christmas ordered our turkey from there. Sometimes wonder if I am fit to drive cos I seem to float through some of the journey. Have not ate all day so trying to cook something now. Everything continues to just be a struggle.
Having just got through another Sunday when I felt so low and miserable even though I had somewhere to go. You are so right. My husband had been unwell since August and before this, even if we hadnt anything organised, we had each other. It does seem harder to “intrude” on others lives on Sundays. Loving thoughts to you and everyone else on this forum. At least we have this .
Dear Sheila, yes, you are so right about running away from the pain of loss, does it never ease!! Pete died 3 years ago on the 16th December in the hospice so this is our 4th Christmas without him although the 1st one was a blur. Keep hoping each year will get better from the heartache but not happening so i’ll keep on driving… My best wishes and thoughts to you at this difficult time of the year…
Hi Christine I feel your pain and know exactly how you feel. I too hate the weekends, we used to lay in on a Sunday and read the papers, now I’m awake and up by 7am. I take the dog for a long walk and try to keep busy but can’t wait until bedtime. I don’t like to disturb family and friends as they have their owns lives and are normally busy. The house is so quiet and it doesn’t help that it gets dark by 4pm
Take care and keep posting
I agree the first was a total blur. Probably still reeling from the shock. This Christmas seems so much worse as the date approaches and people are in full swing getting on with their own lives. Like yourself will keep on driving until this journey ends.
Take care. Sheila
Hi. 3 yrs and 3 months fir me and Christmas has become a nightmare for me. It feels as lonely now as the first year. I can look at all the decorations in the shops but I just don’t want to participate in any of it. I just want to come home to my safe haven and hide away…the pain has become a deep flat void in my stomach and even though I have met someone else who is absolutely lovely, I am still so lonely and alone on the inside.
Hi.My name is Jeanette and I lost my amazing husband in 2019 we had been married for 40yrs but been together for 47. I know exactly what you mean about Sunday’s. If I’m on my own on that day that’s the day I feel down. It’s a strange thing. It’s 3yrs next April and I’m trying to move on . But I still feel the loss terribly at times. I have taken on a rescue cat and he is company . Thinking of you at this time of year.
Bless you 40years is a long time I was married for 23 together for 30 it doesn’t seem real does it. I miss him everyday but sundays seem worse and this is my first Xmas on my own except for my two little dogs who jim adored and still keep looking for him you can’t explain to dogs that daddy it’s coming home anymore it breaks my heart. How did you get though Xmas the first time I don’t know what to do I don’t feel like being jolly and celebrating but I don’t want to be a kill joy with friends
Well I am lucky to have 2 lovely son’s and 4 grandchildren,family,friends. The first Christmas was difficult as is every birthday, anniversary. It’s the memories and thinking about what we would be doing together. But we do celebrate his life and his never far from us . I feel his around me all the time . It is important that you have company at Christmas. I’m sure your husband would want you to.