It’s coming up to my husbands birthday, my second without him. Life goes on, but it’s joyless. I still have family, who I love very much, and few friends,but as the days roll on, I feel totally disconnected, so grey, so inconsequential, so dead inside. I don’t know if I want to be here anymore, it’s worse now than it was last year, the business, the”getting on with it and the sorting everything out” finished. I have no energy left, I don’t want to bother family, they have problems of their own. I can’t face going out, hurry in and out of shops, don’t meet anyone’s eyes in case they expect me to interact. I wasn’t ready for him to die, it was catastrophic and sudden., 56 years of being together, gone in minutes. I eat, but I’m not hungry,everything is tasteless and it seems so pointless, preparing meals for one. My life seems totally pointless and is it worth living?
Hi
I know exactly how you are feeling as your words could have been written by me.
It’s been four years for me now
Hi
I know exactly how you are feeling as your words could have been written by me.
It’s been four years for me now and each year seems to get worse. Like you I feel dead inside. I don’t look forward to anything anymore, much to the disappointment of my family.
I’ve tried but nothing can take away my sense of feeling absolutely lost and lonely. I can keep myself busy but I often ask myself why….
How I envy those around me who seem to live happy and fulfilling lives on their own. I volunteer but it’s just a way of filling my time.
Like you, I’ve often asked myself is it worth the heartache and pain of carrying on ….
Hello JayZ
Next week will mark the first anniversary since I lost my wife. We were married 48 years.
I feel exactly the same about life as you do. I wake up to one joyless day after another. I usually have to check my phone to find out what day it is. I have my list of chores to get through which fills some time, but after that I’m at a loss to know what to do.
I have been looking into the spiritual side of life and have found a grain of comfort. There seems to be a theory that we are put in this life to achieve something and gain an understanding of what life means. My interpretation of this is that we are in a sort of virtual training course. The disconnection I now feel seems to confirm the virtual nature of my existence.
I think the problem we all have though is working out exactly what it is we are supposed to get out of this experience and how we achieve it.
Take care of yourself JayZ. We are all in this together.
Thankyou. You take care too. It isn’t easy.
I feel exactly the same as all of you.
3 years, 3 months, 11 days for me…
Yes, life so pointless, even with me working long hours for NHS (at work now on a break in a 13 hour shift)
I’m so sad all the time, family and friends think I should be okay, mostly I’ve learnt to realise is because they want me to be…. So in their eyes it’s easier for them !
Everyone thinks I should be ‘getting over it ‘ after all this time!!! Or worse think I have because I ‘function’ - go to work?!
I read something the other day… words something like this…
“It might seem like a long time ago to you, BUT ITS EVERY DAY FOR ME!!
I’II try and find it , and post it here……
Love, hugs and strength to you all
Obviously works exactly the same for those of you who have lost your beloved wives💞
I also feel the same as all of you (disconnected and inconsequential). It is nice to know I’m not alone.
This is so true. I miss my husband (died suddenly on a family holiday July 26 2023) every second of every day.
I’m just about to go out shopping and find it very strange that no one cares where I am and what time I’ll be back.
Big hugs to all of you. At least we have each other. 
It seems to me that we shouldn’t be too demanding of ourselves at this time of year.
The days are short, cold and often miserable.
Christmas is a particularly stressful time of year for so many people, not just those of us grieving for a lost soulmate or loved one.
Instead of worrying about Christmas, we could embrace the solitude and use the time to read, listen to music, watch TV or just go for a walk. It would be an opportunity to think about how our loved ones enriched our lives and reflect on the possibility that they are still with us if we just look for the signs.
Take care everyone.
I understand how you feel. My partner died suddenly 9 weeks ago and I feel as if my heart has been torn out. Family and friends have been supportive but all I feel is loneliness and loss. I just can’t see myself facing the rest of my life without him. We had a nice house and comfortable lifestyle, but none of that matters when your soul mate has been taken away. I’m sitting here trying to will myself to go out the shops to get some groceries. I’d just stay in bed but I can’t sleep either, and even though the heating is on I feel so cold all the time.
My heart goes out to you, I am so sorry for your loss. Accept any help that’s offered and you don’t have to say”I’m fine or ok”. Cry when you want, but laugh and remember better times too. X keep talking.
Thank you, for your kind words.
Gosh, those words are so poignant and so true.
For me, it’s been four years of heartache and not a day has passed that I haven’t thought of Ian.
Life is just so difficult and lonely ….
Hi @Trixie1
I know my darlin’
Every moment of every day I miss my Phil
Lonely always, sad always, exhausted always … that’s the grief we deal with, day in day out that NO ONE not in our shoes gets!
And Time just makes that ache more intense ….
Love , hugs and strength to you poppet
I’m just passing the 2nd anniversary of losing my partner of 50 years.
I wish I could say its getting easier but sadly not.Friends have slowly disappeared and I feel totally alone. I achieved everything I wanted to do in my life with my partner and feel there is no point in carrying on
Hi jayZ
I’ve been exactly where you are so I know what you are going through my partner Ann passed away just before Christmas 2023 and I’ve got no interest friends or family so I was left to deal with my grief alone I did something my partner would have been mad at me for doing and after ending up in the mental health hospital I was given counselling it did help but things have and never will be the same
Places we used to visit together I can’t face going to anymore, food that I used to enjoy is now tasteless and I’m the same as you I can’t see the point in preparing meals for one and most days I wonder if it’s worth carrying on but I just remember what a lot of people have said would my partner be happy with me for giving up ?
The first year was the worst and it’s true what I’ve been told the pain never goes away but in time it does ease so yes life is worth living
I kmow exactly how you feel. Its coming upto the 2nd birthday for my husband too who i lost June last yr. The 2nd yr is harder your done with all the 1st anniversaries, the reality of the loss has sunk in. Its flown over but still feels like yesterday, i cant believe its been almost 18mths since i last spoke to him. I describe my life/ world in black & white, no colour anymore, i smile and laugh at times but i to donot enjoy anything really, i keep going for my daughters, i’m existing not living. If it was’nt for my daughters i too would not care to be here anymore. Your not alone, its so hard i know. X
I am so sorry . I feel exactly the same although only 6 months for me. Take care.
Hi Norma
My partner of 28yrs passed suddenly she was only 49, we had plans, we were going to slow down with work this coming year, she booked a holiday for the 20/10/25 as it was her 50th on 30/10.
Instead of going to Greece on the 20/10 we had her funeral on the 17/10.
Life can be so cruel.
Love to you all at this painful time.
XXX