I just can't deal with this anymore

I am new here and I’m feeling really bogged down. I lost my brother to cancer in July and haven’t had any support. I’m a mum to 2 children, and with covid happening my support network dwindled dramatically. No one seems to care or show support after the first week and I’m having difficulty processing everything. I’m finding it hard to function and my motivation levels are zero, I barely sleep anymore. I cant do anything alone, there is always someone with me and I just want to mope about a little. I’ve had no time to grieve because I always have to keep smiling for my kids, my youngest goes to nursery school soon so that will help a lot. I just feel so lost without my brother and I don’t know how to make the pain stop.
I dont really know what the point of my post is, I just googled grief chat room and this popped up, I just hope I can pull myself out of this negative state of mind soon because I don’t know what I’m going to do otherwise

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Bless you. I don’t have a brother, but that doesn’t matter in this case. I can see you are bereft and I understand that, having lost my darling husband last year.
You have come to the right place here. I am sure that people who have lost siblings will be in touch to support you and maybe offer help and advice.
In the meantime, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and even though I am not in your position exactly, you are welcome to write any time if you just want a friend. X

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Dear Anne,
How lovely, thank you for what you said. You have made me feel good about myself, and a bit better so I thank you for that. That poor girl sounded so lost and I just couldn’t let her think she was all alone.
I am sorry for your loss too. We all have such different stories but ultimately we are all the same - lost, devastated, grieving and needing a hug, albeit a virtual one. Thank goodness for SR and the lovely people on here. Xxx

I lost my husband in febuary and i feel alone i dont have any friends as i lost touch over years we’d been together 45 years i do have children but they have there own lives so i feel a burden and after first couple of weeks phone calls get less and less

PS I should also have said that your message was lovely too. I hope Misunderstood4 knows she is with friends who understand.

I am so sorry for your loss. There is a section of Sue Ryder which is aimed specifically at people who have lost their siblings. It’s called Losing a sibling. You might find more help on there than on this category, at least in the early days. I found a lot of comfort and help on the Losing a partner section (similar to the losing a sibling section, but aimed at husbands, wives etc) and have only recently moved onto this category. The Losing a sibling category will deal specifically with that subject. The Coping with bereavement section is, I think, more help after the initial stage has passed. However, that said, don’t be put off. You can post wherever you like, I just want you to get the best support when you do.
Do keep writing. We are all here to help each other.

Thank you so much, that’s really kind of you. I’m so sorry to hear you have lost your husband, I cant imagine that kind of pain. Also if I can do anything to help you then I’m there xx

Thank you, my brother was a lot older than me, he helped raise me as a child from around aged 2, when our dad was gravely Ill in hospital, I eventually went to live with him when dad passed away just before my 15th birthday. I miss them both every day. I am sorry to hear about your mum, losing a parent is absolutely soul destroying I know, I wish you strength and happiness x

I’m sorry :frowning: yes I completely understand the feeling of being a burden, people tend to expect us to bounce back and unfortunately it doesnt work like that. I feel so unwanted sometimes by people I tend to hold it all in. It’s not good for anyone to do that. I am sending you love and strength xx


Oh I’m sorry I’m new so I dont really know my way around the website yet, I just posted quickly because I had a rare 10 minutes to myself whilst my husband took the children a quick walk.
Thank you for you help x

Dear Misunderstood4,
Please don’t apologise for being new. We were all new once! You can’t go far wrong here, wherever you post, even if it’s not the best place for you, you will still get help.
It takes a bit of getting used to, but you are here, and that’s a very good start! Hugs x

Anne3, Thank you, yes we were so proud of each other. We made a pretty good job of being married, if I do say it myself , in spite of his mother (!) and have two lovely girls, both married, and four fabulous grandchildren. Life was fantastic until that dreadful day last June when his brain bleed took him from me. .My world fell apart then and things will never be the same.
As for being nice, thanks for that comment too. I think I have been made this way by seeing the grief and loss of the people on here. I know how bad I feel and I realised they must feel the same and I wanted to make them feel less alone. Some of them are so young and that is awful.

Once again, you have made my day! Bless you x

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