Its now coming up to two years since I lost my husband.
I think Im doing ok sorted paperwork out decorated in this time and im trying to make a new life for myself.
Ive joined groups and made new friends. I dont turn any invitations down,but when im out especially in large groups I feel like Ive nothing to say and I just sit there listening to other people conversations.All and all Im lost.When my husband was alive we spent a lot of time in each others company,I dont know if its that.My confidence isnt great and I find myself comparing peoples life style to mine.
Is this part of grief ?
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It probably is the grief, I know it’s made me question myself and affected my confidence. Me and my hubby did lots together but we both worked so even though it was hard to go back to work it had helped.
If I get unsure or nervous l remember my hubby and what he would be saying to me “come on you can do this”
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It is indeed grief @Angela60 , if you search the Internet using the word ‘bereavement’, you’ll find that there are five bereavement boxes that at one time or another we’ll tick at least four of them.
I found it comforting to discover that many of the emotions I was going through were absolutely the norm for the situation I found myself in.
Some go, only to reappear later; I suppose our change of circumstances have propelled us on a journey not of our choosing and emotionally we’re not immediately equipped to deal with it. I’m certainly finding it a very real challenge; feeling very lonely and of being alone, sad, anxious and lacking the confidence I once had.
I try to move on, one day at a time, although, often every day seems a repeat of the previous. I’m sure the pain of separation is the same whatever your age but perhaps, the younger you are might promote the idea that there is a life that can be kickstarted, whereas, in old age…?
From your post, it seems, you’ve already accomplished much and I don’t think there’s any harm in just sitting and listening to conversations, as your confidence returns, I’m sure you’ll have the faith to make your own contributions.
You’ll get there.
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Thank you for your comment, my emotions are still running wild ,up one day down the next .At the moment I dont like what I see about myself again lack of confidence.
Please do not be so hard on yourself, take one step at a time.xxx
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