I just want him back

Six months have passed since I lost Rob, my soul mate and rock. The last 2 weeks everything has seemed worse. I’m trying to get out more which is difficult as have to walk slowly with a crutch with painful spine/hip problems and don’t drive so go on the bus. Broke down last week when visiting my nearest town 10 miles away as Rob and I used to go there a lot. Feel so lost without him and being on my own all the time makes it worse. We would always be laughing and chatting. Seeing lots of other couples made it worse too. Everything seems such a pointless struggle. All the joy and purpose has gone out of my life. We used to do everything together and he looked after me. It’s all such a struggle. I just want him back.


Hi @Sal3.
That sounds so difficult.
Grief on its own is bad enough but add in mobility problems and isolation and it’s easy to see why life is such a struggle for you.
I can relate to that feeling of being lost and of everything seeming pointless but we have to hang on in there.
Some things, we can do nothing about - the loss of our lovely men being the main one.
I try and focus on the things that I can change - or could, if I had to.
10 miles away from your nearest town sounds very remote if you don’t drive.
Is there anything you could do to change that?
Would a mobility scooter help?
I appreciate it wouldn’t help with a 20 mile round trip to town and back but it would give you an element of freedom to get out and about locally and also give you a bit of independence.
Are there any sort of social groups in your area that you could join so you have some social interaction?
Personally, I’m not a “social group” sort of woman but I’m assured by those who “know” that it helps - it sounds like my idea of hell, quite frankly!
Hang on in there Sal.
We’re going through this horrible adjustment to our lives that we don’t want and never asked for but it has been thrust upon us thanks to bereavement.


Your pain is my pain it gets worse by the day. I find it all a big chore for me to get through the day as I have to do everything now and each day I get further behind and usually sit looking out of the window I am really isolated where I live so just see the birds