I recall many moons ago,was 1991 july,we had been going out for just over 2 months.my memory isnt to clear on the disagreement we had,but Jayne left my room and I ran down stairs after her,as I got to the front door Jayne was just driving off,but I knew she was going meet her friends it was a Saturday night about 8pmish.i dont know exactly what was going through my tiny little mind but I just chased after the car,i had no socks on and just my shorts on,luckily I was fit and it was a warm summer evening.i recall arriving bare foot at my friend Daves house which is were every one met to have drinks before they go out.Jayne came out side to me,we sat a little in the car,i just loved being with Jayne and what id done in running about 2 mile in bare feet with just my shorts on,like ive said I dont recall what we had argued about but it couldn’t of been anything to serious or I would remember.i just know I love Jayne and what ever it was, I wanted her to know I was sorry for what ever it was.all I know is Jayne came into my life and my heart was hers to do as she wished.and I would move heaven and earth to make things work between us.i know what I did was insane but I couldn’t control myself and ive no idea why I didn’t put any shoes or a shirt on.i just knew I didn’t want waste time I needed get to see Jayne.sorry im droning on and maybe making no sense ,but I cannot make sense of how much losing Jayne as and is affecting my whole way of life.i daydream about being with my dream girl, I talk to Jayne I tell her I want to be with her as soon as possible so please wait for me.nothing else seems to matter ive no interest in anything.apart from showing myself how much Jayne means to me.
I hope im not alone in having done insane or something unusual to keep connected with their soulmate.
regards
ian
That’s a lovely romantic story. Jayne must have felt so loved. What a gift to give someone in their life. To feel adored and loved beyond words the way you loved Jayne. A lot of people can only dream of that kind of love. I’m sorry Ian that you are now feeling such immense pain because of your unmeasurable love
thank you Jooles
I very much appreciate you kind words.
If ever there was a love story waiting to be written, dear Ian, it is that of your’s and Jayne’s.
My eyes are full,
God Bless you and sweet dreams of your beautiful Jayne.
x x
thank you Mary.
I am hoping write little scribblings of memories I have of my time with my wonderful baby Jayne.
ian x
Mary - Ian…
… agree, some love stories are longer than some others, only wished mine had been longer…
Hi Ian you weren’t insane you knew she was the one for you My Heart goes out to you my friend. That is a lovely story that’s why it is so hard for you to get over the loss. I feel the same 3 months today since my Beautiful Penny 
Passed away from Mets Breast Cancer on the 06 November 2019. After beginning of the year I was diagnosed with Prostate cancer. Like yourself my story began when I met Penny aged 16. Married Penny when she was aged 18. Penny lived just 15 doors up the road from me . Penny used walk passed a give a checky smile Iit done my head in this went on for while in end I just had to ask her for a date. I felt like a million dollars when PENNY said YES . We Married on the 5th June 1971. We had 48 wonderful years of Marriage it’s so hard Penny is no longer here . Just want to be with Penny so much life isn’t worth living anymore. Just hope like yourself we see our love of our lives much sooner . My heart go out to you 
thank you Freddie
your words are heart wrenching.
seems you also found your best friend lover and soulmate.
thats why it is so damn hard to live,how can we live when our hearts have been ripped apart.im living my life now with Jayne in my heart mind and soul.not really coping im just existing.i did find it comforting having a few tattoos dedicated to Jayne.i never ever wanted a tattoo,but being able have my baby Jaynes portrait of which I have 2 one of her older and one when she was younger and 2 roses with our names and the word soulmates.
I know Jayne wouldn’t of wanted me have then if she was here today,but hopefully Jayne can see how much im missing her by the way im living with her deeply embedded in my heart.hope your finding ways to at least cope,with your debastating lose of Penny.
regards
ian
Thank you Ian (username Freddie after my grandson) my real name is Graham. As you and myself are finding life so hard after the love of our lives . As our lives a going down the same road at the moment I have tried talking to Sermaritians but they have now blocked me thought they were there for support try Cruse Bereavement but you can never talk to anyone this is why sites like this people griving can talk as we know what life has become unbearable at the present time like yourself Jayne was the love of your life . Penny was the love mine. I have all the wedding photos on side with the carcass with her ashes on my table . Peñny wouldn’t want me like this but it’s so hard like yourself you feel totally lost without the one person that was more than anything to you. Please look after yourself. Kind Regards. Graham.
Hi. Ian.
‘Insane’, Unusual’ ‘Silly’ ‘Daft’ ‘Illogical’ ? I don’t think any of those words can apply to any messages on here. None of us are entirely sane. How could we be? Trauma such as we have experienced is not something you ‘get over’. You may learn to live with it, but for most that’s as far as it goes.
Of course, for some it is possible to make a new life out of the misery of bereavement. Many do and should be encouraged. We will never forget, that’s not possible.
Your memories are causing you pain. That’s understandable. I think we all find that problem. I try to steer clear of ‘triggers’ that may set me off into despair or worse. Places, people we knew etc. It is working, but oh so slowly.
Take care. John.
thank you John.
nice words.im trying live my life with Jayne in my heart mind and soul.
its the only way for me.
regards
ian
yvw Graham
Samaritans aint for me.sad that they didn’t continue to listen ,didn’t know they could block someone.thats ridiculous as they are most peoples last line for help.obviously they are not as understanding as most of us thought.ive had 10 sessions of bereavement counselling was in the 2nd 3 months and they were very well spread out as sadly my counseller loved holidays moust of been well off as was 2 wks here 2 weeks their job must pay well.luckily they were free to me as they were through the local hospice.
im living every day like Jayne is in my mind heart and soul.until I meet Jayne in paradise.
regards
ian