Thankyou so much everyone has been so helpfull xx
Iâm so sorry for your loss and canât imagine how hard it is for you. Itâs not acceptable that you have to go without a hot meal and wonder if it wouldnât be better ringing AgeConcern yourself rather than waiting for the doctor who doesnât seem to be doing anything much.
I know things are difficult at the moment with Covid but that doesnât mean that you have to starve. Please contact an organisation who can help you.
Thank you so much for your reply, I have spoken to Agen concern, last Monday, and they said they will sort out a carer for me, as it is not just meals but bathing or showering I cannot do on my own, there is so much I need help with, as well as meals, although at the moment eating is not high on my priority, as all I do is cry all day, I think it is made worse because I cant do thing myself, he was my carer, as well as a devoted husband and should mate, so every day from when I wake up even though I only get about 3 hours sleep, with medication, to when I going to bed I constantly miss him, I fell one night and was stuck on the floor for what seemed like an eternity, before I managed to get up, normally John would have helped me, age concern also said they would sort out a call button for me, in cases like that, but it must be with covid, that these thing take time, as I have not heard anything since, although the lady was very nice indeed, and said she would ring me each week, to check progress, so hopefully she will ring me on Monday, and I can say I have heard nothing, I was speaking to the hospital physio, who I see occasionally for my arthritis, and when she heard my husband had died, she said, she would check back with me, to make sure I had some help, as she knows I have such difficulty, if you just imagine you only stand with two crutches, and cannot stand only supporting yourself on one leg, but cannot move without the two crutches, or my wheelchair, I have metal rods and screws in my spine which means I cannot bend down very far either, so drying myself and bathing is out of the question, so I have just had to sit on the toilet and wash myself at the sink, hopefully, something will happen soon, I think covid makes the cogs run more slowly, I just cannot stop crying, from morning until night and through the night, I hate it, I speak to my husband all the time, saying thankyou for watching over me, and how much I miss hi.
It is so nice to know so many people care from this site, thankyou so very much, I will let you all know as soon as I receive some help, until then it is a case of plod on, I am sure there are people far worse of than me xx
Not sure how I dod this so as to keep everyone that has kindly replied to me informed, but so far no help has arrived, I am thinking of going to my sons for a few days he lives 260 miles away in scotland, but i am still finding it hard to cope and not be crying all the time at the same time I donât want to go and upset my grandchildren that are only young, or if I should just hold out, so that if someone tryâs to help then I will be here, but I am now finding it extremely difficult, with the limited thinks I am able to do, will let you know if some one contacts me after speaking to age concern that said they would put a care package in place that was 8 days ago but nothing yet xx
Hi
Iâm so sorry about what you are going through. Have you contacted your GP about this? They would probably be able to speed things up for you rather than Age Concern. You are clearly a very vulnerable lady and your GP has a duty of care, not just for practical care but also for your emotional wellbeing.
Please reach out to your GP as well. They wonât know how badly you are struggling if you donât tell them.
I hope something gets organized for you soon.
xxxxx
Dear Ellie, thank you very much for your response, I did speak to my GP just after my husband had died and told her I was struggling as John did so much for me, and she knows how I am unable to stand without my crutches, but I think I will have to speak to her again, as all she said was I know, it is very difficult for you, I donât think she has realised just how much John did for me, I am struggling so much, I was going to my sons in Dundee for a long weekend as I can drive due to it being automatic, and have a hoist for my wheelchair, but found that I could not do this, as I was crying so much and it would not be good for my grandchildren that are only 7 and 3 to see me so upset, they would not understand, so I have decided to stay home, but I will have to speak again to my GP as I am struggling to much thank you once again so much, it is nice that there is someone you can speak to on line who have been through the same thing , without this I was beginning to think I was going out of my mind
thank you
You are very welcome. Everyone has a different experience coping and many of us are worried about âbotheringâ our GPâs. Mine has been marvelous. Very caring and sympathetic. Please donât give up.
Love Ellie
xxxx
My heart goes out to you. I was my wifes main carer. When she got back from hospital a care package was put in place. It should be for you too. They were planning to come in 6 times a day but I was her carer for 45 years and just could not hand over care for someone else.
Here was I feeling sorry for myself having lost her last November. But you have put it in perspective for me, The nightmare of me dying before her. She could not even pick up a cup let alone make meals etc. She also could not walk and confined to her wheelchair or the bed.
Get onto Social services etc. Bother them. You NEED help.
Please keep us informed. One thing I know to be absolutely true⌠If they think you can cope in the slightest they will let you.
My thoughts are with you.
Frank
Thank you so much have been back onto my GP who is chasing things up but still waiting, have let everyone know but still having to do only what I can Thankyou I will keep you all informed
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I have just read your original message. Iâm so sorry you really are suffering. You did the right thing to have your husband at home at the end. Now you must concentrate on making sure you get every help you can. Keep phoning and be a nuisance. You have put my loss into perspective. I lost my husband of 24 years in November. He was in hospital after an accident and caught Covid. He got over Covid but it contributed to his weakening. I couldnât see him until the end. I am lucky though as I am able.
We both have some lovely memories and eventually the bad memories of his last days will fade. Where ever you go you will carry him with you in those memories.
God be with you.
This may sound odd but honestly follow it through.
Doctors are usually very busy. No matter how important your needs are they can be passed over to a secretary or put in the âto doâ pile.
Send an email to your doctors explaining that you realise they are very busy and it is not their fault that resources are stretched etc. Yep its creeping. But its just a way of not upsetting them, too much. Tell them your going to seek help from your MP to see if he/she can assist. If that does not get them moving contact your MP. Play the helpless lady card not wanting to put too much pressure on the NHS etc But overstate your case. Your GP is a very busy person (when we all know they have less to do now than ever before) Can he help you to get the help you and your husband badly need. You were advised you (your MP) is very understanding and good at getting things done.
The NEED IS URGENT and immediate. etc
Good luck.
Thank you very much for your help I am suppose to be getting help from social services, within the next few days, it is because my husband died in november and he was my carer, that you seem to get forgotten, i can only stand with crutches as I can only put weight on one leg, or I use my wheel chair, which makes things very difficult, simple things are so difficult because I have to stand with two crutches or sit, unfortunately my sons live a long way in scotland and france, they have invited me to stay as long as I want, but i want to be in my own home, and at the moment, I just cant do that after almost 50 years of marriage and the last 25 years we where always both together like peas in a pod it is very difficult without the added need of the help i need hopefully something will happen next week or i will take your advice many thanks x