I lost my dad 5 years ago and I still can’t cope

My dad was 32 when he died, he died around Christmas time and all my family was there so I felt pressured to keep my emotions inside so that I wouldn’t make anyone else upset, and ever since then I haven’t been able to deal with the fact that he’s actually gone and it’s killing me because it all building up inside me, and I feel like I have no one to talk to as my sister has moved out and my mum has a new boyfriend so I feel like i’m the only one that’s still struggling with the fact that he is dead. I feel like I can’t cope with the fact he is dead because I feel like he is being replaced or that no one cares about him anymore and it makes me so depressed because my dad was the most kind hearted man and was too young to die, it still doesn’t feel real to me. And every time I think about him I get angry with myself because I feel like he is disappointed in me. I have no one to talk to about this and it’s so physically and mentally draining that my emotions are kept inside.

Hello Sofiag,

Welcome to this community. I am very sorry to hear that your dad died five years ago and that you’re struggling with a number of different emotions. It’s really important to share how you’re feeling rather than bottling it all up, so it’s good that you’ve found this space to talk. Please know this is a safe, non-judgmental place so feel free to talk as openly as you need to.

Many of the things you’re experiencing are common when dealing with a bereavement. Grief is a very personal thing and affects everyone differently - your mum and sister may just be doing what they need to do to cope with their loss. We have a couple of articles that may be of some use to you:

https://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-can-i-cope-bereavement

https://support.sueryder.org/practical-emotional-advice/how-long-does-grief-last

We also have a free online counselling service that you could access if you felt in need of some extra support. There’s more information about that just to the right of this page.

Take care of yourself and keep talking to us as long as it helps.

Best wishes,
Eleanor